Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Can you tell me how much that Hz, on a scale of 1-10?
GothickNihilist 15
Honestly I wish that people would stop treating myths as scientific fact.
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Comments (185)
Flesheatinmonkey 3
It wasn't an urban myth
galefrog 3
Obviously you don't know what you're talking about. Why would your dick hurt if you've been kicked in the nuts, are you insane jumping from subject to subject?
Cage1986 1
in terms of intensity of pain then and there the nut kick wins but in terms of duration/length of pain birth wins there is no kind of "del" pain units and this is a myth and pain is relative to each persons pain threshold had a buddy puke and hospitalized from beeing kicked in the nuts with steel toe shoes with his "goods" rupturing a normal kick to the nuts the pain is as high as it goes then and there but goes away in the intensity quite fast within the first 3-4 mins while a birth can last as long as 3 full days(72 hours) both actually wins when it comes to pain just that the pain comes in 2 way different ways
shadwolf99 2
YDI for being so stupid and ignorant. A kock in the nuts IS over 9000 dels and its way worse than child birth.
alpha126 9
Getting punched in the balls is worse, after a whole some women think 'I want another kid' but no man has ever said to himself 'I want another kick to the balls'
zekefine 3
I seen several women say that she wants to do childbirth again. I never seen a guy went "Man, I sure want to get hit in the nuts again"
Blake13131 6
after a few years, a woman usually wants another child, but you will never hear a man ask to be kicked in the balls
ThirteenThirteen 27
A little thing from Jason Manford (paraphrasing because I'm a lazy git): Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful. Why? Well, when women give birth, sometimes they look lovingly at their significant other and say, "Oh, I just want another one!" You don't hear men saying "You know what? How 'bout another one?" after being kicked in the knob.
gigiskye 20
Because women don't want the pain of childbirth, they want another baby ... Completely different. You don't make babies by getting kicked in the balls.