Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Can you tell me how much that Hz, on a scale of 1-10?
GothickNihilist 15
Honestly I wish that people would stop treating myths as scientific fact.
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Comments (185)
GTAmax99 12
It's over 9000!!!!!
j_cat187 20
What 9000!? There's no way that could be right!
Exotic_Nihilism 16
LOL This debate will never be won. Its like asking what hurts more male or female circumcision?(that some 3rd world countries practice) IMHO the answer is female simply because its the equivalent to cutting the tip of a man's dick off. Although, I did hear the pain a man suffers from passing kidney stones is similar to child birth (O_o)
CheeseHater 23
By the way, I think that getting a kick in the balls is worse pain, but it doesn't last up to 12 hours which makes the birth of a baby worse. That's how you win the argument and keep both happy.
Exotic_Nihilism 16
While u THINK being kicked in the nuts hurts more while women feel pain longer because of labor the truth is a man will never feel the pain of child birth and a woman will never never know the pain of being kicked in the nuts.Therefore, the debate is a never ending conundrum:/ nice try tho;-)
CheeseHater 23
I've had my appendix burst, hurt less than getting kicked in the nuts. A woman source says that it's a worse pain than child birth. So, while it's in no way scientific, that's some evidence right there.
TheManager 6
Pain is subjective bro.
CharresBarkrey 16
There is no way your appendix bursting hurt less than a kick in the testicles. If it did, it didn't burst. You probably just had appendicitis. If it burst, the pain would be in more than the appendix as it releases toxins into your body when it bursts. You would have been near sepsis, which is literally the pain of dying.
CheeseHater 23
#106 I'm talking direct pain, not how long it lasts, if the pain of a kick to the balls would last for longer, it would be so much worse, that I couldn't even be able to imagine it. This is such a weird issue.
Catkam623 27
My appendix burst and getting punched In the nuts so hard I threw up in a trashcan still hurt more.
hanymandy 6
You're both stupid
RedPillSucks 33
He punched you because you we're being testicular
tazrek01 6
Lets settle this! Ask any guy who has been kicked in the nuts "would you take a kick to the the nuts again?" Answer is always no! Now ask any mother " would you go through child birth again?"....I rest my case
Exotic_Nihilism 16
That's only because nothing good happens after getting kicked in the nuts(-_-) Child birth is only worth it, because most mothers love their kids more than life itself.
iluvpeanutbutter 22
That's stupid; childbirth has a purpose (i.e. you get a child out of it), while a kick in the nuts does not. Would a woman willingly go through the pain of childbirth for no reason? Of course not! Also, mothers often forget the intensity of the pain of childbirth over time. If you asked a woman if she wanted to go through childbirth again 10 minutes after she gave birth, she'd probably kick you in the nuts.
spazz666 18
Let me guess. You're male?
maimengming 10
Can I just point out that, if you look back in history, about 1 in every 4 women died during child birth? Having kids is an amazing thing, but many years ago it meant very possible death. I'm not exactly sure when the number started fallling, but I know the numbers dropped steadily after the c section became an option.How many men have died from being kicked in the balls?
MisterEx 28
I'll just point out that "back in the history" people died from normal flu. Thee days, the percentage of women having "easy" delivery is higher than the percentage of women who go through hell and back during delivery, due to c sections and drugs and such. Have you ever heard someone saying something like "yo man, ama kick your nuts like a soccer player in a second.would you like some drugs with that?" We're not talking about a medium nut busting here. To compare it with giving birth, the kick down there needs to be strong enough to ensure you will not assist in any pregnancy in your life. Therefor rendering the main question invalid. That is all.
cheyforever16 9
i would just like to point out that people still die from the flu...around 4000 a year...
CharresBarkrey 16
With the amount of damage natural birth causes, I can only assume the equivalent would be the ********(s) bursting. There's so much tearing and ripping, that pain simply cannot be compared to blunt force to an already external organ.
tazrek01 6
Can I also point out that back in history there was no reference to pain during child birth. You have Hollywood, tv and other media to thank for making a labour a terrorising and experience. Labour should not be painful. Yet another reason why the kick to the nuts is worse.
Cali_Italian 8
Labor should not be painful? Please go sit in a corner and evaluate how much of an idiot you are.
SaintT 15
#117 So much stupid it hurts!!!
kamikrazy 6
Actually the instance you get hit in the nuts doesn't hurt... It's the pain that comes a second later.
jujubunni5 9
There is now a machine that simulates contractions with electricity for men. They can run it for the full 14-17 hours of "child birth". So now men can compare
evilplatypus 39
I saw the video of that. Assuming the electrical impulses really ARE comparable (doubtful) judging by their faces and reactions, childbirth is infinitely worse.
jujubunni5 9
I totally agree! The people I saw it happen to on YouTube only lasted two hours!
Nessco 36
That only takes one part of childbirth into consideration. It's like wearing one of those "pregnant bellies" and saying you understand. There is absolutely no way you could understand or compare based on just one element. You have to do them all together (and most can't be simulated) to be able to make any real comparison.
Saone_fml 27
Take someone with kidney stones and strap him to the machine :D now there's contractions and a foreign element that needs to get out. Just missing 9 months of haywire hormones and you're set!... *cough cough*
buckdharma 38
The guy calling himself "Horse" on America's Got Talent made getting kicked in the nuts look like a walk in the park. My wife, on the other hand, made faces during child birth that made me think she was going to shapeshift into a grey.
deaddonkey 15
At least you got a sucker punch from him and not a kick in the balls.
fischerxx 10
There's a lot of variables involved here like how hard the kick was, pain tolerance, how long the labor actually is ect. so they can't really be compared. That being said I've never heard of a woman blacking out and vomiting because of the pain ( even without pain killers and im not saying its never happened either just that ive never heard of it) but a good kick to the groin for a man can do just that ( I know from an unfortunate personal experience). I've heard the "9000 del" thing before which can be compared to breaking 187 bones at once and it was for the man not the woman.
CarouselHeart 11
Women used to DIE in childbirth, nevermind passing out or throwing up.
fischerxx 10
What do you mean used to? Dying and experiencing pain are two different things. There are many ways in which labor can go wrong (even today) and I'm sure that not every single way can be felt by the mother. Men can't compare to what women go through and women can't compare to what men go through.
tiarnatargaryen 23
So your argument is that "its not comparable but men have it worse"? When women go through childbirth their ****** often TEARS. The baby rips the shit out of their most sensitive body part. A kick in the balls =/= ripping the foreskin open, therefore kick in the balls =/= childbirth
CharresBarkrey 16
I have a friend whose labor was so intense, it ripped her entire ****** open and destroyed all the nerves in the area. She can no longer feel pleasure down there at all, and has no sex life whatsoever due to it.
S182 15
Women used too back in the day before we had all the drugs we have now. I'm sure it still happens, it's just much less common.