Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML
Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML
Today, while working in a blood drawing clinic, a mom sat in the chair holding her 4-year-old child, who kicked me square in the groin. Being a heavyset lady, I shrugged it off and collected the sample, while the child screamed, "Kicking worked on the last man that did this!" FML
Today, I tried to see if you can kick yourself in the nuts. You can. FML
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML
Today, my nephew kicked me in the balls, again! And he got me fair and square this time. It's the fourth time he's got me in the balls since the pandemic started. I have to put my groin guard from college on and teach him a lesson because he won't listen and he's 12, so he knows what he's doing. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
Can you tell me how much that Hz, on a scale of 1-10?
GothickNihilist 15
Honestly I wish that people would stop treating myths as scientific fact.
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Comments (185)
Sillabub 15
All right, I'm not reading through all the comments, so let me throw in my two cents. There is NO unit of pain called a del, as a simple Google search will tell you. We can only estimate which hurts more. We cannot accurately do that because: 1. Not all minds are the same. As individuals, we handle pain differently. 2. Because both are specific to a gender, a single human cannot experience both. I get extremely tired of this, "is it worse to be a man or a woman" debate. I'd like to finish with a little bit of advice that everyone should apply to their life: Check Snopes before you make stupid assumptions.
luvin_purple 11
Dels is actually the unit of measurement for pain. Sorry you got hit though :(
joshw21 1
obviousl
Nativeangel412 2
Ok first of all the human body can only endure 45 del of pain and a women encounters 57 which is the equivalent of breaking 22 bones at once. For a guy imagine having a watermelon come out of your asshole.
Sillabub 15
I concur, YouAreMyPrey. I'd like to add that 57 del=22 bones breaking would mean that you experience 2.59 del per bone break. So, by that reasoning, approximately 0.059 is a stubbed toe, and a razor cut is 0.2 del. Oh, and having soap in your eye is about 1 del. This seems like really stupid math, no? I mean, anyone can make these figures up.
KalCountry76 12
i have no opinion because there is no way for comparison. and in the end, what does it matter? so you can look someone of the other gender in the eye and say "haha! we (fe/males) can endure more pain than you!!" like you deserve an award?
Nativeangel412 2
Ok if a women wants to have another kid its because she love her first child so much she wants to have another one . If you ask a guy if he wants a kick to the balls then of course he'll say no but if you ask a women if she wants to endure the pain of giving birth then she'll say hell no.
mikehuntidges 2
Totally agreed. If a woman could carry and deliver a baby with no painor discomfort, I'm sure a lot of women who don't like the idealf having kids might reconsider!
Cage1986 1
been kicked in the nuts its a big HELL NO the nuts got no muscle or fat protecting it or the sick amount of nerve endings it has would rather take a punch in the face from mike tyson than a kick to the nuts
ligerzero459 24
Funny thing is that Del actually is a measurement of pain. YDI
icey0796 6
Another problem with getting hit in the nuts is the randomness of it. Usually there is little to no warning. Childbirth is still much longer and I'm sure very painful, but at least you know it's coming. Also, a good bit of advice for any man out there - don't try to compare them to a woman. It will end badly for you.
SoultheWolf 19
Child birth can last for hours and even for some people days. While a kick in the nuts hurts for a few minutes, an hour at most...
mikehuntidges 2
A lot of guys don't seem to realize that long before labor, women's pelvic and pubic bones begin to seperate to make room for the baby. I'm currently going through this and just moving my hips to roll over at night causes pain serious enough to wake me up. I'd take a swift kick in the nuts any day instead of the pregnancy/birthprocess!