Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was paying for groceries when the cashier asked if I wanted cash back. I said yes and handed over my card. She stared at me and said, “You're using a library card.” I'd pulled the wrong card out of my wallet. FML
Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML
Today, I found out that someone found my lost library card, and instead of returning it, took out multiple items. If they don't return them, I'm on the hook to paying over $100 for them. FML
Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML
Today, I finally got my ass into gear and went to the DMV to renew my driver's license. I waited in line for over two hours, only to find out that I had brought my library card instead of my license. FML
Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walked up to the counter and the librarian turned to me and said "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML
Today, I learned I have over $10,000 in debt, despite never owning a credit card. Apparently, my ex-roommate had been replying to the credit card offers I was receiving in the mail. That also explains my missing driver's license a few months back. FML
Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML
Today, I rushed from work so I could get to the library to return a book that was due. The library closes at 7:00 p.m. I arrived at 6:56, huffing and puffing. The lady saw me, slammed the door in my face, and locked it. I now have to pay a late fee for 4 minutes. FML
Today, I got a letter from the IRS informing me that I owed a debt of $80 dollars from 4 years ago, and that it has now grown to over $800 dollars, and it's due this month. FML
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Top comments
tomal0 6
Did you forget to return "Everybody Poops?"
Stazza11 27
Kudos to you, I couldn't even shit properly at that age and you were a hardcore book nerd!
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Comments (58)
tomal0 6
Did you forget to return "Everybody Poops?"
mpkpm 19
Came here for this, was not disappointed.
seacadet 18
No, he's Catholic, so it was "You're a naughty child and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you"
UmmOkThen 31
It might even have been A House At Pooh Corner.
NightHawk387 22
Why is #45 getting downvoted? Does nobody get the Family Guy reference?
DiamondGirlj 18
We are family GUYY
incoherentrmblr 22
Reminds me of the Seinfield episode where Jerry forgets to return the book and the librarian cop tracks him down...
therealjc_fml 14
You just won the internet with that. Too funny!
foxwasalamb 24
now, i wonder if the librarian and the ones before them all talked about you, wondering when you would bring back "Everybody Poops" Im sure the library collection has been suffering all these years
ShowMeKay 20
#54 - Exactly what I was thinking lol. Lt. Bookman: "You'd better not screw up again, Seinfeld. Because if you do, I'll be all over you like a pitbull on a poodle!"
Drake_The_Dragon 23
And this my friend is why we should have a spot for our favorite comments. :)
Stazza11 27
Kudos to you, I couldn't even shit properly at that age and you were a hardcore book nerd!
GraceyBlueEyes 13
I don't know, I imagine a hardcore nerd would have returned it. OP is lowcore at best.
hashshim 23
I'm positive the antonym is soft core
nana_star 27
Maybe your mom took out a nursery rhyme book for you and forgot about it.
reneetlovesyou 30
Only one? No, it sounds like someone set this up knowing damn well they wouldn't return the books. If I were OP, I'd ask my parents if they know anything about it, seeing as they were only 3 or 4.
tellyc 27
The same thing happened to me! My mom took our a book for me when I was younger & never returned it. So they won't let me take out any books
yolibeth221 9
Same thing happened to me, if you're in school try getting a void from them saying you need to research using the library
amisenho 11
It's happened to me, too. My mother checked out a book for me when I was 3 or 4, and I don't even remember reading it. Because of that, I can't check out books at that particular library anymore.
Chibitalia180 6
#58 You weren't able to check out at only that particular library? I don't know how things work where you live but where I live all the libraries have the same system so you could have 1 library card for every library.
fivetimeslonger 24
Doesn't make sense. At least where I live, if you're a kid your library card is tied to a parent's or other adult's. Any charges "your" card incurs, they are responsible for. Once you're old enough you get it switched and you're responsible.
dragonkisses28 25
How did all of these 3 and 4 year olds get a library card? My library has an age limit for people getting library cards. I checked books out for my kids, but I had to do it on my card.
TunaFireStarter 16
When I was a kid, library charges were limited to like $5 or something, so when I lost a book and forgot for a year, I only had to pay $5.
kozzard 17
At my local library, the fine caps out at the cost to replace, so you either return and pay the fine, or keep the book and buy the library a new one
fantasyworld 39
I got my first card at 7.
football98_fml 20
4 Year olds in this generation spend $130 on phones and still complain.
onlychildFTW 34
No, their parents do. On iPads are big for little kids now. I know more then a few cousins/Friends siblings who are ~2yrs/~4yrs and have iPads. The kids certainly not buying these things. What 4yr old has that kind of money? Hell I was still in diapers at 4.
reneetlovesyou 30
I get that you were trying to be funny, but don't see how this relates to the FML. And frankly, I'm getting sick of these jokes.
TheNenemon 15
Pardon me if I don't know how this works, but perhaps someone who has the same name as you is the one who owes the library? Curious to know what happened next though, OP!
chris4u2nv5 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What you need is fraud protection, frog protection, fraud, frog, fraud!....... I think were on the same page here!!!
DocBastard 40
I pretty sure no one is on the same page as you.
sweetbliss3 37
I'm not a big tv watcher, but that commercial I will watch. it's so stupid it's funny.
Garrison21 11
Cocaine is a hell of a drug
False_Stupidity 42
Never mind the same page doc, I don't think anyone even has the same book as #6.
pimrol 16
library women are the worst. I don't like' em
nana_star 27
Have you ever been to a library? Librarians are amazing
aimzskee 30
They probably feel the same about you.
91hayek 31
More bureaucratic nonsense and hi-jinks! Apparently the other FMLers mother is supposedly dead so try getting a card with her identity.
sabine123_fml 5
Show your id
wildsweetchild 19
I'm sure they have his info...libraries never forget the books they are missing.
christian1509 21
I'm really curious to find out how this happened, hoping for a follow up!
greencurtains74 11
What's not to get? he picked out a book when he was 4, and his parents forgot to return it. generally libraries charge an overdue fee of 10cents a day or so, and so added up over time he now owes 130dollars
SmoothPancakes 10
Which is just stupid as hell, expecting someone to pay $130 for an unreturned book. My library maxes out the fine at the cost to replace the book. That's as high as it can go. If my library expected me to pay $130 for an unreturned book from 1995, a book I could probably go buy new for $5-$10 these days, I'd tell them to go **** themselves.
greencurtains74 11
I would wager that they did waive the fee. this happened to me with a book from when I was 8.