Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my good shampoo was disappearing faster than usual. My boyfriend is bald so I just thought I was being silly, until I tried to join him in the shower for sexy time and found him using the shampoo on his balls and ass crack. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
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Top comments
Tristyxxx 24
Replace it with nair
goldfishgod 20
Silky pubes are a huge turn-on.
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Comments (137)
AmethystRain 20
Why don't you both incorporate a shaving session into foreplay? Everything is so much more pleasant when you're not choking on hair.
pandacruisn30 3
I totally agree!! I hate to get hair in my mouth when I am doing a ******* and I know an ex did not like it when he was going down on me so I keep a schedule of shaving. It also keeps me cool. I would rather go down on a clean shaved dick than a hairy one!
soccerbabe92 0
At least he is keeping his self clean. :)
Okayitwasme 0
Hmmm what to buy him for Christmas???? Any thoughts?
1NaMillion 13
YDI for not giving enough oral pleasure.
aequitas740 0
Nice name OP.
CrazyManNo9 29
Hey, at least he is making more effort than 99% of the other dudes out there.
puppydog 12
More than 1% of guys shave their pubes.. which is definitely more effort than using a whole bunch of conditioner.
xxJonaKillsxx 8
At least he's trying.
chickenpie90 16
Good try
Mourningstar 4
Works for me
police11942 1
Having just got it he must have used a lot! Are you sure he isn't using it to do other things?;)