Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my good shampoo was disappearing faster than usual. My boyfriend is bald so I just thought I was being silly, until I tried to join him in the shower for sexy time and found him using the shampoo on his balls and ass crack. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
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Top comments
Tristyxxx 24
Replace it with nair
goldfishgod 20
Silky pubes are a huge turn-on.
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Comments (137)
kittenelaine 0
If you believe his story you're naive. He's using it as lube.
ShakeMeDown 12
Mine are dreads.
dodoms123 0
Tell him to just shave all of it off..
camelspanker69 0
Tell him to shave that crap!
AmieLea18 7
Honestly, why does he have to resort to using your conditioner to try and get blow jobs off you?! Why not just give them to him before he must resort to such measures? Frigid bitch, you totally deserved it. Also, to all the guys telling her to ask him to shave it all off, some girls don't find that sexy. I know i don't anyway. It makes men look as though they haven't gone through puberty. Just my opinion.
Invierno 10
"Frigid bitch, you totally deserved it." A bit harsh, no? She did say "more" bjs, not that she refuses to. The bf just had a kinda funny idea with the conditioner. :P
grabblebyk 1
The only frigid bitch here is you, #104
ashmichelle85 0
She should only give a BJ if she wants to, some people are uncomfortable with oral sex...ever think about that? Probably not, so who's being the frigid bitch now? Take a look in the mirror. And seriously, using someone's stuff without their permission is rude. The reason he's using it is to get more head so I'd say he's being a selfish prick.
Ray_of_midnight 23
After this, OP's b/f found out why he shouldn't use surgical tape to secure gauze to his nutsack....
r3ap3rjay7 1
Smart man *nods*
AmandaIsMyName 0
Yea and wackin it! Ha
AmandaIsMyName 0
Yea and wackin it! Ha
AmandaIsMyName 0
Yea and wackin it! Ha