Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I noticed my good shampoo was disappearing faster than usual. My boyfriend is bald so I just thought I was being silly, until I tried to join him in the shower for sexy time and found him using the shampoo on his balls and ass crack. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
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Top comments
Tristyxxx 24
Replace it with nair
goldfishgod 20
Silky pubes are a huge turn-on.
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Comments (137)
MissMaryContrary 3
I have one word for you, sir: "Manscaping"
fishielover1124 12
Not gonna lie, I was drinking some water while I was reading this and I spit it out cuz I laughed. But, nonetheless, your boyfriend is a tard. I am so sorry for you >.
Stumbles911 7
wow i think the boyfriend needs to rethink that one,ha and oh yeah the idea to replace it with nairrr!!!! what a great one,that would be halariouss!:D
bshawndes1 0
Not gonna lie, that's not a COMPLETELY dumb concept.
truerebel 1
It's sad that he feels like he needs to condition his pubes to make u want to go down on him. Ydi for being selfish.
SonicStriker 0
hahah no
ReturnOfTheRat 6
I love the name she uses:) silkysmooth
ReturnOfTheRat 6
I love the name she uses:) silkysmooth
truerebel 1
Well... That sounds reasonable I suppose!
chrisstachon 30
well does it?