Today, my boyfriend changed his relationship status on Facebook to "Single" and his status to "I'm not kidding, leave your key on the counter." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I logged onto Facebook to find out that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on Facebook. FML
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML
Today, I had the displeasure of watching my boyfriend’s Facebook go from “In a relationship” with me to “Single”, then switched to a big “In a relationship with” the girl he told me was “just a friend” post, after ending our 5-year relationship over text message. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML
Today, while surfing facebook I noticed someone in my network had recently shifted his relationship status from undeclared to "single." We've been dating exclusively for nine months. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend the silent treatment. He put his Facebook status as "When your girlfriend finally shuts up for once". FML
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Top comments
Savra_fml 17
Chage your relationship to "Single" as well, and then as a status write "The key is on the counter, along with your penis enlargement pills. Going to feel what a real man is like. Your brother says "hi"." FYL though. Better off without a tosser like him.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Lol? Pussy was too cowardly to do it face to face? You deserve better
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Comments (195)
evaki1 12
Bad romance? Facebook'd?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
Nope. Just a cowardly douchebag of a (now) ex-boyfriend. OP, don't even bother with this immature fool. Not worth your time at all.
Androidz 0
I agree with 4. If someone is enough of a pussy to break up over computers or texting, they deserve to be forever alone. Op you will find love somewhere, and I hope things get better.
AnonymousTroll 2
Keep the key, ruin whatever other relationship he's having.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#24 - No. If OP were to do that, she would be just as immature as her ex. She should be the bigger person here and try her best to move on from him. Period.
Clamcreepy 7
#17 alone forever is a little harsh don't you think? For all we know OP could've been cheating on her boyfriend for years. he probably was to pussy to say it to her face so he did what any cowardly man would do...from a distance
TheDrifter 24
The way op's bf phrased the status makes it sound like he's tried to break up with her before and she didn't believe him. I vote op is a class 5 stalker in denial over the bf being a cowardly douche.
Kypopz 9
61 - Exactly. Everyone immediately takes the OP's side, but we never know. She probably cheated on him or she's just ******* annoying.
downtime 13
121 Agree. If someone were doing this as an act of cowardice it wouldn't be so blunt and rude. Sounds like she did something and his response was to do it in the most disrespectful public way he could think of...Or maybe hes just a douche. We will never really know for sure...
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Actually, the way the OP phrased it made me think he knew that people change their facebook status as jokes/it might look like a friend got onto his facebook and changed it (because, you know, he was too much of a PUSSY to talk to her on the phone/face-to-face) therefore, he said he wasn't kidding. Context.Context.Context.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Lol? Pussy was too cowardly to do it face to face? You deserve better
WaSiSimiLang 8
Is it weird that I imitated the fat butcher from "wanted" while typing out this post? "here pussy pussy pussy pussy... Here pussy pussy pussy pussy..." *and then knifed op's ex-boyfriend to pieces from the back, then disappears*
OneNightStan 2
Yes, it is weird.
madgrinchhatter 12
Very weird. Or at least esoteric
WaSiSimiLang 8
Oh yeah since a certain someone is not on fml right now, I shall help him type in his usual line: "MAN CARD ******* REVOKED"
hawaiianfire 0
Yeah, I agree, unless she didn't deserve the time of day. (ex. op's ex didn't want to hear a dumb excuse as to why op cheated on him.)
RoseTintMyWorld 8
What a dick.
22jrdn55 15
I think he wanted to avoid the whole crying part and just skip through to the "i hate you get away from me" part.
Wreckless_fml 6
That's what she said.
mstangchck 9
52: No, just no.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Wow what a jerk! Sorry OP
taty7659 4
OP should make a copy of the key and trash the boyz house :)
Infamous_Hawk 6
What a jerk. You deserve better...
TheDog6 24
Least he didn't finish with: "... And give me back the ruby ring with the big diamond"
hawaiianfire 0
Why shouldn't a girl give that back? Ive thought about it long and hard, does it really make sense for people to keep their wedding rings or engagement rings after their relationship falls apart?
lolmonster34 0
Who the **** is too pussy to break up face to face what a dick
Draugen 16
She deserves far worse. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe she is so abrasive that he does not want to listen to her shrill voice as she falls apart from being dumped?
lolmonster34 0
#139 you should still man up and do it face to face not on Facebook that's just stupid
zaza_x_fml 5
What a douchebag. Tell him to man up for once and not be such a keyboard warrior. I'm sorry OP, you deserve better and will find someone better. Unless of course you did something extremely horrible to deserve what he did.
iArmy 6
Haha, keyboard warrior. Reminds me of when I played WoW.
Pentium_4 27
there is no excuse for that. what a pussy
thisisafunnyname 12
Unless OP is literally a murderous psychopath with extreme anger management problems who always carries a switchblade.
Pentium_4 27
Touche
cradle6 13
Even then just make a phone call. Don't do it publicly.
bettyc4 26
Pentium_4... Ur hot
SaMmIMonster96 6
I'm a crazy psychopath that carries s knife everywhere o.O u got something against me?? Haha I'm kidding about the question :)
downtime 13
87 Publicly is your best chance of surviving...If nobody else knows then she may try to keep it that way...
ramboman19 8
Does everyone resort to Facebook for everything now days? Damn!
construction 7
Makes shit official
Lauren324 18
What's the link?
juliushater 12
Ha ha ha, Zackenberg is a freaking GENIUS.
rulezdunmatter 12
Zuckerberg*
construction 7
Who cares? ^
cocodecoeur 12
Looks like we have another asshole here...
Sienna420 4
Or just an idiot
buddarox 0
All he did was tell the truth. The guy is a genius lol
Savra_fml 17
Chage your relationship to "Single" as well, and then as a status write "The key is on the counter, along with your penis enlargement pills. Going to feel what a real man is like. Your brother says "hi"." FYL though. Better off without a tosser like him.
WaSiSimiLang 8
Tossed? And yeah tell it like "no strings attached" is!
desireev 18
That just made my day!!! Hahaha
SandraPark 1
That is the absolute best revenge ever
sparklecherry 4
Excellent comeback.
intheLorax 3
Hahaha! Brilliant! Such a good comeback
madi22511 0
Brilliant
writergirl23 19
Lol that is if he's still friends on facebook with her.
narutoxhinata109 5
This is probably the greatest comment in response to and FML I've ever read! Lol