Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my good shampoo was disappearing faster than usual. My boyfriend is bald so I just thought I was being silly, until I tried to join him in the shower for sexy time and found him using the shampoo on his balls and ass crack. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
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Top comments
Tristyxxx 24
Replace it with nair
goldfishgod 20
Silky pubes are a huge turn-on.
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Comments (137)
Tristyxxx 24
Replace it with nair
Iffyy 6
Are you sure he's not using it in place of lube?
StoryOfTheYear 15
13- That kind of goes hand in hand with the initial intent.
Jovecove 13
13 - When I read the fml the first time, I was expecting op to say that he used it in place of lube too.
n_epic_fail 14
Hay, in his defense his pubes probably smell great!
khaytah 0
So I'm not the only one that does this?
MissBadwolf 4
Exactly. If his pubes are manky enough to need conditioning, he should probably get rid of them :S
AceArctic 4
98 - No.
EMTPirate 0
Nair burns on your junk, trust me. Tell him to shave and start going down himself and you'll take more trips down south.
FruityLoooons 8
That was the point, bro.
fthislyfe 22
Does he dye his pubes too?
HomeAl0ne 20
Good point. Check your hair straightener for stray pubes too. He's manscaping.
mcday 5
I dyed mine hot pink with a neon green frosted tips, just sayin
ricky04181900 1
Heya I know about Iran, very nice place Have a lot of friends here in Tokyo And I'm not Japanese, I'm Indian It's a nice place too :)
blushy 14
did it get you more head or scare them away..
GiggidyPants 0
seems like a logical idea
kings1fan 6
It's Halloween! No one wants to here about pubes hahah
cinderella10383 6
Hear even
stacianichole 2
Why on Halloween does no one want to hear about pubes?
yankfan89 27
Apparently Halloween is a magical day in which pubes do not exist
goldfishgod 20
Silky pubes are a huge turn-on.
boner_till_icoll 0
then u'll love mine
iFizzgig 11
Giggity
chlolzah 0
I love how 69 people have voted thumbs up hahahha I guess she wants a blowie too ;)
mariazzz 5
This made me lol. What the? Next thing you know he'll be putting pretty bows down there too
TriflingAllDay 6
No dude. Cleanliness and decoration are seperate matters.
TheAftermath 0
Oh, that's so.....manly.. *cough
boner_till_icoll 0
and sexy *cough*cough*
MissBadwolf 4
Yes. How unmanly to be concerned about one's appearance.
julien86_fml 2
So did it work for him? Is he getting more BJ ?
tgenre 1
He's not conditioning...he's jerking off with it! Duh
here4theparty 4
I would have to agree. He isn't getting the pleasure from that prude bitch so he's Prolly taking matters in his own hand. Haha get it... hand.
boohbah1789 0
That's what I think too xD