Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my good shampoo was disappearing faster than usual. My boyfriend is bald so I just thought I was being silly, until I tried to join him in the shower for sexy time and found him using the shampoo on his balls and ass crack. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tristyxxx 24
Replace it with nair
goldfishgod 20
Silky pubes are a huge turn-on.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
rabbit55 0
LOL
iplaydirty96 9
He should just shave. One of the big problems is after you go down you have to floss your teeth. So not sexy...
HMarchr 7
He seems like a considerate guy, just trying to soften the blow.
dansco 25
Wrong! Less likely to talk to him let alone give him head... Yeah replace it with hair remover lol
evilteddybear 0
Does ha comb them too?
Soumisechaton 0
Silky smooth lol
gms16 2
Umm...? And How much does he us anyway?
sleepindevil 15
Wtf, what kind of modern man doesn't at-least trim
roboticgoldfish 0
Wow, men and their theories lol
gottagetaway 5
I agree with #15 maybe if you sucked it up and gave em a ******** more often he wouldnt do that, its really not that bad