Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to beg and argue with my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This has become a recurring argument now we're confined together. FML
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, I had to beg my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This is a basic weekly argument. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML
Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML
Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML
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Top comments
Cokencsi 0
I hope you give him oral AFTER he bathes at least. gross.
ewheeley 0
easy fix... dump him. he has a problem, and it's not like you're married. what do you even find attractive about a guy who never showers?
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Comments (215)
JoFranc 1
first
junkie_android 0
clever
You_Just_Failed 0
YDI for not giving him a reason to shower everyday! and for not making him a sandwich
mrbuddy 0
I've met a number of guys who never shower (and are proud of it) but somehow get awesome women to still put up with them. Magic.
MidgetMonster 0
ew idiot, refuse to give him oral, you are doing it backwards.
aali89 0
yea gonna agree ure doing it backwards lol ydi for being an idiot
TripleJumpMan 0
I'd say that's a fair trade :P but that's gross only showering every ten days? I shower every day.
haleyisawsomee 0
eewwwwwww y would u want to have sex with him
jarhead321 0
I think your husband could be a genius...
Philosophic 0
Same. But I'm guessing the OP likes dirty sanchezs. :] and if you don't know what that is, urbandictonairy it.
marleytooyou 0
dude thats sick why would u have oral sex with someone who rarely takes a bath!!!! dump his ass!!!
Inabsentia 0
Give him a BJ every morning!
black_mamba248 0
haha
longrodvonhugend_fml 0
offer to take a shower with me.
SpideyRules 9
I agree 86. He's totally got it right.
Averizzle 0
Agree^
zdizzle123 0
ur gonna get some crazy ass disease or something... haha!!!
HeresReality 0
oral is so gross
bleedinginside 0
how bout a creampie
mitch707 0
Oh My God. The man is a genius!!!
Dwight_A_R_Manag 0
This is an easy fix. Give him oral everyday and he will shower everyday.
Fab0luZ 0
thats Just Nasty... He Probably Has Lil Bugs Rollin On His Junk.!' Its ur Mouth...
twist_of_fame93 0
ur nasty. you suck 10 day old pebis
rwac07 0
wow great idea. I shud try that in my gf
NotMeh 0
I agree with 27.
Chickenfoot117 6
YDI, bribe him with a cookie.
matrasveer 1
Before, or after he takes a shower. I hope it's before he showers, because you totally deserve it if that's what it takes to get some action with you.
777_zack_108 0
what does OP mean and YDI mean
Aj4710 0
at 185 OP means "original poster" and YDI means "you deserve it."
jweezy89 4
Well atleast you now know the secret to get him to shower.
vDestiny 0
You probably suck at getting it on. Right?
CBEAR26 0
Well you sure know how to pick em lol he sounds like a winner
deventheawesome 0
Eww ten day old sweaty penis:(
nesscafe_fml 17
Seems like you have beeb conditioned by your boyfriend lol. Shower = oral, so he knows what to do when he wants it...
WarmPigBelly 4
That sucks a big one.
GelliE212 7
U look like you'd enjoy it.
Dylan94_fml 8
Hahaha you calling someone else pathetic ? Try getting off FML for once in your life.
Cokencsi 0
I hope you give him oral AFTER he bathes at least. gross.
HeyTherexxx 21
She shouldn't give him oral at all for a long time. Gross..
kitzukitten715 0
Would you suck his dick if he washed it? No?You dirty c*ck sucker!
BigRedBolshevik 0
Way to go OP. your my new hero
alex_mu 0
well of course, he wouldn't want you sucking on a dirty dick
aardvarkish 17
you're sicker than he is
marc_with_a_c 3
Well as long as you give him oral AFTER the shower.. otherwise eww
Saarr 0
It's your own choise ._.'
BM13HC 0
YDI for not having the female genitals to tell your boyfriend that if he doesn't shower at least 4x every week you will kick his ass BTW did you gave him a ******** BEFORE or AFTER he "showers"?, OP
srunano 4
I have a feeling the boyfriend just sits on the toilet reading a magazine while he turns on the shower to make it seem like he "showers."I had a cousin who did that. He would wash his hair only and use the towel to dry it. Very gross