Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my good shampoo was disappearing faster than usual. My boyfriend is bald so I just thought I was being silly, until I tried to join him in the shower for sexy time and found him using the shampoo on his balls and ass crack. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
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Top comments
Tristyxxx 24
Replace it with nair
goldfishgod 20
Silky pubes are a huge turn-on.
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Comments (137)
amishfury 9
maybe if you gave more bjs he wouldn't use all your conditioner
claudzzzz 5
hahahaha! men for youu
lemon_phat 11
Hahaha, women for you, always complaining when we make an effort.
lemon_phat 11
My comment vanished.. " women for you, always complaining...."
StoryOfTheYear 15
That's an opinion.
mrahhhhh 21
He needs more ********. Give him some and ask for something for you in return. I'm sure you can think of something you need from him...
NPN_Scorpio 16
*Everyone needs more oral, that's for sure, but there's a huge difference between getting it from someone who's ok with it and someone who's into it.
BlacOpsMaximus 5
I agree with 23 there is a HUGE difference ! xD
aleagator 10
Yeah she needs more conditioner.
NPN_Scorpio 16
That's "conditioning".
orph_the_d 5
Does he smell like cocoNUT's now??
NPN_Scorpio 16
On the plus side, the bottle is almost empty. He didn't "refill" it for you.
ShyAnn29 15
Eww, I just got the gross image of him ejaculating into the bottle, and her using it on her hair..! Or, it could be good for her hair....you never know
aKaClickZ 4
Thank you for painting the picture for us
laden_swallow09 35
I know. She'll get Robert Pattinson hair. Even then, that's only if the "replacement" is fresh. Otherwise, you may as well use rotten egg whites.
HomeAl0ne 20
Check your facial cream container. I think you'll find it's going down a lot slower than you expect.
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
33- There's Something About Mary....
NPN_Scorpio 16
Instead of trimming it he wants to grow it and braid it, Viking style. Silver beads on the ends could work magic for op.
Michael_Kelso 0
Well has it?
RaquelW 7
"sorry baby, but unless I can comb my fingers through your luxurious pubes, your crotch will remain a mouth-free zone."
mcday 5
Booo!
BlacOpsMaximus 5
Well at least he's being sorta considerate right ? But that's when you tell him he just get rid of the pubes to get more ******** then you can keep your conditioner and he can have his bj's! Win--Win x)