Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I noticed my good shampoo was disappearing faster than usual. My boyfriend is bald so I just thought I was being silly, until I tried to join him in the shower for sexy time and found him using the shampoo on his balls and ass crack. FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML
Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, I kindly asked my boyfriend to shave his pubic hair to make oral sex more enjoyable for me. He declined, saying, "Think of it as flossing your teeth. I'm doing you a much needed favor." FML
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML
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Top comments
Tristyxxx 24
Replace it with nair
goldfishgod 20
Silky pubes are a huge turn-on.
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Comments (137)
deequu 20
Was that your first clue about how romantic he is..?
Fatal_rei 3
buy more conditioner and pick up a bottle of Nair for him =). If he's that concerned with getting his nuts washed, let's get them chemically burned off as well.
dmadsen33 9
Wow he's such a romantic... You're certainly lucky!
hunter_star 0
Give him more blow jobs
CryMoreFMLs 15
Get more haircuts so I can see through that mop on your head.
perdix 31
Hide your mousse! He'll form horns with his pubes and make blow jobs hazardous.
iFizzgig 11
Tell him you don't give him more ******** because you're scared of chewbacca.
ZXDriver 0
Pubehawk.
chane1100 6
Must agree with 24. Adding beads would be a great addition, maybe even some holliday colors?:D
PollyluvsTigger 2
Boys are idiots
lemon_phat 11
Girls whine to much.
Poetaster 10
Around you, I'm sure they do.
lemon_phat 11
49- wut? Girls whine too much....
raphanne_fml 33
People believing in these stereotypes are stupid.
Poetaster 10
Spike your pubes and tell him it's muff diving time!