Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
She just didn't want the baby to be poked by your ****.
blueocean43 2
Some women keep having periods when they are pregnant, maybe she is one of them.
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Comments (427)
rattusrattus 19
1. She could be spotting. 2. She might not realise that its not a period. I had spotting when my pill was wrong and thought I was having a period. 3. Is there anyone who wants to have sex whilst their genitals are bleeding?!
QueenOfBoredom 0
Edward Cullen is into that sort of thing
Lynzwood 0
he'll ya there is!!!
Jaxx66 21
FYI to everyone saying she's a bitch... women can still have their period while pregnant. so stfu.
mosquito19 14
period don't come out of her mouth
simon_lala 0
maybe hes more upset she thought she had to lie about having her period (unless she really was) then just say no?
kykyshay 0
wow, great excuse.
xxLifexx 0
congratz youv ententerd steps to being a father to be but ur wife wont have sex with you world
Dez31396 0
you can still have ur period when ur pregnant dumbass
ILoveEggnog 7
Maybe if you got a man-thong with neighing horse she would be interested.
my_lifeless_stor 0
she's pregnant-mood swings and not wanting sex
gordodestroyo 0
and that is why people cheat