Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, my wife came home drunk, telling me all about this amazing man she met at the club with her friends, and how she wanted to have sex with him but couldn't because she was on her period. What a present. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. The problem is she convinced me to get a vasectomy two years ago. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
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Top comments
Wheredidgrungego 12
She just didn't want the baby to be poked by your ****.
blueocean43 2
Some women keep having periods when they are pregnant, maybe she is one of them.
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Comments (427)
tjsomethin 9
I blame the economy.
jbenne2 0
Maybe you should punch her in the stomach and scream, " Lier!!!" Then she'd really have that miscarriage! lol
lmaoatall 6
punch yourself in the balls! thankyou
loopyleah 3
that's sick
ttubear 17
Uhh...liar, not lier. Idiot.
cguinn17 9
or lyre, maybe he likes screaming about musical instruments...
xtacticalswarmx 0
That's ****** up >.>
nvrsaynvr 0
yur a dick go **** yurself bitch!
hellokittykab 0
you can have ur period when ur pregnant duh.!!!!
EnuffGame2FukNun 0
she jus dont wanna give it up to ur ugly ass....do her a favor n get her a *****
TheKidFromBK 0
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh u failed at life
chevyuser 0
um it's not uncommon for women to have vaginal bleeding during pregnancy that can often be confused as a menstrual period.
lmaoatall 6
if your wife is bleeding she should still be seen by a doctor to make sure it's not a miscarriage. you should be more concerned about that than getting it on. it happened to me so I know!
jenaandtyler4eva 0
hahahahaha maybe she likes to be controlled and not asked lol
waldoo37 8
a periods never slowed me down. work for it and try to get get it wet. DON'T ask it's a mood killer!
Dirty01 0
women do bleed during their pregnancies maybe you'll get lucky soon