Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, I was driving in a busy area looking for a place to park. I happened to lock eyes with a really handsome man who was walking alongside the road. He approached my car with a huge, gorgeous smile, and as I rolled my window down, he asked, "Are you my Uber?" FML
Today, I, someone who has experienced only one romantic relationship in my 35 years (which ended 8 years ago), was hit on by a homeless drug felon client at work. FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML
Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML
Today, I was walking home when I made eye contact with some guy, just being friendly. He then started rapping at me while pointing at his dick. FML
Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML
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Top comments
lukey101 26
Look it has its perks: only two sleeps till Christmas 🤣
bleachedraven 14
To me, single means waiting for the right one...not desperate for random bus stop person 🤣
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Comments (3)
kfchicken 31
a lot of us are single its not that bad or unusual.
bleachedraven 14
To me, single means waiting for the right one...not desperate for random bus stop person 🤣
kfchicken 31
can't disagree
Marcella1016 32
“Random bus stop person” Hey everyone has a type 😂😂
lukey101 26
Look it has its perks: only two sleeps till Christmas 🤣
bleachedraven 14
Terrible but I had to laugh! 🤣
bleachedraven 14
How do you "tweak away"🤣
Plop 17
So he has a regular job as a "salesman" for his own "pharmaceutical start-up" and a steady income stream. What a catch!