Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML
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Top comments
Attacksloth 33
What's with all of these sexless marriage FMLS lately? We need some aphrodisiacs up in here.
Rinat_fml 26
It doesn't sound like she's trying at all to make the sex work. FYL indeed.
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Comments (173)
russfml 31
Unfortunately it sounds like it's time to give your wife the D and by D I mean divorce papers. FYL OP - you'd think she would be in the least to talk about the sexless marriage. Hope you get it figured out
Miss_Mandi 29
I'm sincerely hoping that she was just in a bad mood and won't pull that response on you if you try to talk about it one more time. If not, I'm sorry, she's not trying anymore. It might be time to move on if no other options arise, OP.
ColonelCusswords 24
Hey, atleast she doesnt want you completely sex deprived
wakemeupplease 21
You should have said f*ck her right in the p*ssy!!!
exoticDeath 20
It's a sexless marriage... Masturbating into a sick doesn't count as sex....
marcelmg 10
But does she love you? That is the most important issue. You can always f*ck around.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
What kind of ******* logic is this?
McDerp 11
I agree, if she loved she would be willing to have sex with you.
Farmillionaire 8
Bye Felicia! (That's what I would say)
Cads1 24
Time to find a bit on the side!
sammyjanette 17
Have you stopped romancing your wife? That doesn't excuse her rude reaction though.
Cassandra2015 21
at least she gave you the sock so you don't have to change the sheets after ..
Grayness_ 26
What.....
Onyx3288 22
Maybe divorce is something to consider. After many years I recently had to admit that if someone doesn't care about your needs or opinions they are wasting your time.
cainchild 4
you misundertand, it's the GUY whose needs are being dismissed with abusive comments...so it's ok.
vinnerator 7
time to find someone new