Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML
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Top comments
Attacksloth 33
What's with all of these sexless marriage FMLS lately? We need some aphrodisiacs up in here.
Rinat_fml 26
It doesn't sound like she's trying at all to make the sex work. FYL indeed.
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Comments (173)
tateissalad 10
Pink pill?
beantownchivette 8
It's not available yet but it did just get FDA approval
AkaPanda 12
Well stop being a fuckstick.
cosmicdancer84 7
I think you should tell her that you're going to start ******* other people. You didn't agree to have a sex less marriage, this is her bullshit. good luck!
beantownchivette 8
Take my advice lightly(I've never been married), but it sounds like you need a divorce attorney
akai4986 16
sorry for that OP, you can talk to her another time about it , if she insist , you must reevaluate your relationship, and see what's best for you guys , hope things will work out and she is just not in the mood right now
ezrajab 22
I sense divorce in your future.
MKYVapors 3
Sounds like time to leave the bitch and go find a girl who will actually want to ****. Or cheat. They both work
Algorithm 24
This is why you're single.
kt80_9800 12
It sounds like a viscous cycle. You don't feel loved bc you havent had sex with one another and so your ability to make her feel loved fails. And if she doesn't feel loved her willingness to have sex with you is lacking. Work on rebuilding intimacy in your marriage, focus on how you can make her feel loved and she may return the favor. If she doesn't feel loved and you come to her asking for sex it may be making her feel like you only want her body for sex and not her whole person. There is nothing wrong with counseling. Best of luck
RockstarJAy 16
"Fuckstick"? A wife having her husband jerk into a sock isn't too bad, but calling him "Fuckstick" just for trying to talk about the lack of sex is a bit far. Let's hope you can resolve things, OP.
The_Voytek_Bear 14
Why would you even marry a person like this?