Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML
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Top comments
Attacksloth 33
What's with all of these sexless marriage FMLS lately? We need some aphrodisiacs up in here.
Rinat_fml 26
It doesn't sound like she's trying at all to make the sex work. FYL indeed.
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Comments (173)
Cringey 18
Maybe you should have a serious talk with her. FYL Op.
laden_swallow09 35
FML community – "Maybe you should try talking about it?" OP – "WE. DID."
EclipseCandy6 24
I agree, isn't that the point, this was her response when he tried to talk about it with her. I feel really bad for him.
MrsHaxxo 22
the wife does not seem interested in talking..
sirrubberduckie 37
I know he tried talking to her, but do you think she might respond better if they had the talk using... wait for it... sock puppets? I'll see myself out.
Witchylady 18
What a rude uncaring biatch!!!!!!
cainchild 4
you misread, it's the guy getting the shit end of the stick.
whassallt26 13
Doesn't sound that harsh in reality
worldclassrager 41
So her solution is for you to jack off? There has to be some way to get things going
Ava_Darkflame 26
Fuckstick?
MrsHaxxo 22
I was thinking the same xD
opiate_ape 10
divorce.
darkthunda1324 6
Sex if your married has to do with your love if she's got be an ass about it like that id tell her to politely **** off
RebeccaRFT 18
I really don't like that everyone here is saying to divorce her because of a sexless marriage. One, op's wife could be asexual and she is tired of her husband asking. Two, she doesn't have to have sex if she doesn't want to. Three, I seriously doubt that if its a sexless marriage op married her and then no sex. Maybe the wife refused to have sex even before marriage, which meant OP knew what he was getting
a1_z9 10
He might've not known, people's sex drives can sometimes disappear, especially during times of stress. Marriages are meant to be mutually supportive and enjoyable, if one person feels let down by the other, in this case sexually, it should be up to both of them to sort it.
RebeccaRFT 18
#49, I said that she could be asexual. And if op went in knowing she doesn't like sex, then she doesn't have to do anything sex related. Because if they both went into the marriage understanding that she doesn't want sex, then she went into a marriage expecting sex to be off the table. As hard as it is to believe, some don't like sex.
Queen_of_Night 20
Since when did my people become the "Get Out of Sex Free" card?
sirrubberduckie 37
#41, you're just plain wrong here. First of all, TONS of women lose interest in sex at some point after getting married, often due to menopause or other hormonal changes. So your doubt regarding sex that was previously frequent suddenly stopping is entirely ridiculous. Second, being asexual is no excuse for being a disrespectful harpy. Lack of respect will kill a marriage almost as fast as a lack of communication. It's simply disrespectful to dismiss someone so thoroughly and call them a fuckstick when they're trying to discuss what they want out of the relationship. Functional relationships absolutely do not work this way. Third, if she feels so strongly that asexuality is such a fundamental part of her identity, while her husband clearly does not, why would you be against divorce? Sometimes people figure out that they're simply not compatible. There's no shame in that, but it's also no reason to stay in a marriage that obviously isn't working. You can try to say that maybe it's all gravy besides the sex, but her massively disrespectful attitude toward the person who's supposed to be her best friend and life partner proves otherwise. Last, even assuming that she has a good reason for acting that angry and rude, divorce is still probably a good idea for a relationship where at least one partner no longer respects the other.
cainchild 4
found the feminist. if the roles were reversed, your tune would be too. you're right, she doesn't have to care about her partners needs, and he doesn't , under any circumstancea, as a human being deserve to be neglected or abused.
Jader1225 0
Yeah 41 I think you're reaching here. For one thing I haven't read a comment yet that suggested he get a divorce because is wife won't put out. Were saying get a divorce because she speaks to OP like he's a piece of shit. Second you can't really base an argument against assuming its the wife's fault
Jader1225 0
On a platform of assuming its the OPs fault. And lastly I agree there are too many excuses because its wife insulting husband and if the roles were reversed and he said have at it **** wed be in a ******* uproar.
MrsHaxxo 22
I think we need OP in here for more background info, before we jump to divorce-like conclusions.
Algorithm 24
This. I can't be the only one who wonders if OP is selfish in bed, isn't pulling his weight in the relationship but still expects romance, feels entitled to be able to treat his wife like a coin-op sex machine, or something else like that that'd warrant anger/frustration in return. That's not a normal response to "let's talk about our relationship"; I suspect there's ongoing issues that we're not aware of.
shepp626 11
Exactly what I was thinking. You don't call someone a fuckstick unless you're pretty upset with them. Maybe there are other problems in the relationship that need to be addressed before she feels like putting out.
sirrubberduckie 37
If he's doing things which are bad enough to merit this response, divorce is a real possibility, and maybe even the correct one. If he's not doing anything wrong, then this level of disrespect alone means the relationship is headed for divorce, like it or not. By all means, they should try counseling, but if even one partner disrespects the other this much, counseling is going to be a real long-shot.
cainchild 4
sooo, it can totally be the cae that a husband is an uncaring ass, but couldn't possibly be a woman just being an uncaring ass. either he sucks in bed or doesnt do dishes. and regardless of anything shed done, you'd never call this anything but abuse if hed done it. period.