Today, I was teaching my microbiology lab class as a graduate TA. Some dumbass frat boy dared his friend to drink a tube of E. coli and the idiot did it. Now everything in the lab is contaminated with vomit. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at the microbiology lab, I discovered that the guy who took the shift before me didn't sterilize the work space very well. I am now blowing chunks from both ends from a very nasty strain of E. Coli. My company blames me. FML
Today, as I was teaching my 10th grade biology honors class, a student came in with a dead frog and asked if we could dissect it. He tried to toss it to me and missed, so it landed in a girl's lap. She threw up all over me. FML
Today, I was at work in a lab. I spent all day growing a large bacterial culture. I went to retrieve it, only to find that someone had turned the incubation shaker up too high, and my flask had flown off and shattered. Not only did I lose all my work, but now the whole room is a biohazard. FML
Today, we had a test in history. My best friend, who was sitting right behind me, had forgotten about it and put his finger in his throat to vomit. It sprayed all over his desk, his pants, and the entirety of my back. FML
Today, I spent 2 hours scrubbing puke off the dishes in the kitchen. Why? Because my moronic flatmate was dared by his equally moronic friend to drink a bottle of castor oil and then eat an entire jar of marmite. As a result, he projectile vomited all over all the dishes and left me to clean up. FML
Today, a student set me on fire while I was lecturing my class about proper lab safety. FML
Today, I was really excited to be observing my first autopsy for my forensics class. Apparently so was the guy behind me. He barfed up ramen noodles all over my hair and back. I couldn't leave the room to clean up. For two hours. FML
Today, my roommate and I invited a few girls over to our dorm for a small party. We started to play a drinking game, and I attempted to chug three beers in two minutes. My stomach wouldn't have that, and I spewed up bright red chunks everywhere and on everyone. FML
Today, I had a pig kidney dissection in Biology. I see a 'sack' which appeared to contain a liquid. Being the curious type, I cut open the sack, spraying said liquid over me and my desk. My teacher, after giggling, informed me that the liquid was in fact urine. I was pissed on by a dead pig. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
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Top comments
Glowworm56 27
Did a bunch of people surround him chanting "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"?
MidnaLink 35
So it's true then, frats are full of idiots. Glad I never was one.
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Comments (37)
MidnaLink 35
So it's true then, frats are full of idiots. Glad I never was one.
MidnaLink 35
*one* stupid keyboard.
PhantomCrevan 8
How was that ever even a question? Fraternities are literally a bunch of young men that are only "allowed" to join after doing something stupid or even insane to "prove" themself. What part of that sounds like it lends to good decision making??
neuronerd 29
To be fair, there are other types of fraternities as well. I was a member of an honors frat (coed, as I'm female), and while we did have social events and parties, we had no hazing, and none of our brothers would ever do something that dumb.
Glowworm56 27
Did a bunch of people surround him chanting "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"?
boopingsnoot 25
The boy who made the dare should be punished more than the friend who drank the sample. But, no more lab for either idiot.
Hippo_Holiday 19
That doesn't even make sense. Why would someone eat a literal bacteria (I don't know the plural)
PhantomCrevan 8
Young adult men, with more testosterone and access to alcohol than common sense. That's why. (Sororities aren't any better, except their consequences tend to be social and emotional as opposed to physical and mental. Still, as dumb and dangerous as fraternities, just in a different way.)
Ricrad 11
I think bacteria is the plural.
PhantomCrevan 8
A bacterium would be for one single instance of a strain of bacteria, on the most formal level of English. However, common speech uses bacteria as both the plural and singular. That said, if the amount of E. clew was sufficient to be in a sample tube or dish, it would most likely be accurate to say "eat literal bacteria" as there would be multiple cells of the bacteria in the tube.
MamaChey 24
That’s such a terrific explanation that I felt compelled to comment and expand. Amazing that it is almost verbatim from Wiktionary and it’s the very first thing that when searching the term “plural of bacteria” in Google. Perhaps your next search should be “definition of plagiarism”...
CoyoteOldOne 17
They are not handing in a paper. They are answering a question in casual conversation, with accurate information. At least they were nice enough not to post a link to lmgtfy. :)
CoyoteOldOne 17
How would that have made him vomit, with no incubation time? Was the medium something gross?
NostalgiaFreak9 43
It scares me hearing that it was college kids who thought that that would be funny. I knew that college has a few dumbasses here and there, but I never imagined that there would be college kids THIS stupidest. Let’s hope the school kicks them out of the class and bans them from entering the lab after that stunt. They should also be forced to a lesson on lab safety with a test.
PhoenixChick 26
Well, college is a business like anything else. Stupid kids with money are profitable. And I"m guessing this kid wasn't on a scholarship for academics.
acmariner99 25
The DA who did that totally deserves it. Somebody’s insides got a good scrubbing.
neuronerd 29
I read DA as "district attorney," and was really confused for a min.
Lobby_Bee 18
Actually eating feces would be a much more interesting way to get E.Coli. Fail frat dare.
RichardPencil 32
He’s lucky if he managed to throw up all of the E. Coli, but if some gets through to his gut, he may die.
CoyoteOldOne 17
Only if it is a harmful strain. The most common forms are not dangerous.
kazekai8 11
Ahh let darwanism take its course