Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML
Today, my wife is giving me the silent treatment and has locked herself in the bedroom, all because I politely asked her to put the dishcloth away when she was done with it. FML
Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML
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Top comments
Attacksloth 33
What's with all of these sexless marriage FMLS lately? We need some aphrodisiacs up in here.
Rinat_fml 26
It doesn't sound like she's trying at all to make the sex work. FYL indeed.
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Comments (173)
Drnknmonkey08 12
maybe it's time to talk to her and get some counseling. I would try to fix it before divorce becomes part of the picture. I am sorry that you are going through this
berkeleyjake 13
fill the sock with quarters.... and go buy some sodas from a vending machine
kayPandastyle 15
That was a douche bag response ??
nphill82 21
Give her the "D"....as in divorce.
britbrat237 14
She is probably getting off with someone else sorry op.
Angelrose2004 17
I love how everyone is mentioning divorce and affairs. "There is a problem in my marriage.. let's just throw it away, so I can go have different issues with somebody else." People suck! Sex is important, but there is more to a marriage than just that. I agree with some of the others. If she doesn't feel loved, of course she isn't gonna want to have sex. Find out why she is acting that way, OP! Good luck with your sock! ?
sirrubberduckie 37
The issue here isn't simply sex, which is massively important to most people. It's respect. You don't talk to your best friend and life partner the way she did without divorce at least entering one (or both) partner's mind. This treatment made him come post about his problems to millions of strangers, which is not something you do in a marriage if it's not a really important issue. He tried to have a discussion with his wife about something regarding their marriage that was important to him, and he was dismissed in a rude and hateful manner. It's now the wife's job to address her problems to him or a counselor, or it's on to a divorce lawyer. Lack of respect will absolutely kill a marriage.
Queen_of_Night 20
I'm not going to sit here and make excuses for the wife, but there does seem to be something missing from this whole conversation. Not a single person here mentioned marriage counseling. Only one person mentioned therapy, which isn't the same thing. Divorce shouldn't be the very first thing that comes to mind when dealing with these issues. What does OP mean by a "sexless marriage" anyway? Has it been a week? A month? A year? I dated one guy who was not happy with our once or twice a week and he told all his buddies I never put out anymore. Also, can we stop throwing out Asexuality as being the root of all sexual issues? I'm happy that Asexuality is more well known and accepted since I'm Asexual. However, I'm in a relationship. I am not a virgin. We can and do have sex to please our partners. Some Aces even enjoy sex. It's not a one size fits all to explain why someone doesn't want to have sex.
Oh_My_Gosh_015 4
Sounds like a communicationproblem to me. If she was able to respond with "knock yourself out, fuckstick" then it makes me think of the way you approached her. It makes me wonder if you just said "Honey, I would like to have more sex" instead of something like "Honey, we haven't been intimate
Oh_My_Gosh_015 4
"We haven't been intimate lately and I'm wondering if there's something that makes you feel unformfortable doing so and if I can do anything to fix it?" - so I don't think we have enough information. Sorry for the double response, my comment got cut off
sirrubberduckie 37
In a healthy and functional relationship, there's no approach that deserves that response. They need counseling at best and a divorce lawyer at worst. That level of disrespect will break any marriage.
drw1204d1 7
been there before....sucks major ass man.
Chiharo 15
relationship goals at its finest