Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
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Top comments
XxNINJA_28xX 8
He wants the extra small ones.
DocBastard 40
The sexy lingerie you should keep. The asshole boyfriend...not so much.
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Comments (118)
memeguy64682 3
if i were him i would've said the same thing but added" because lingerie isn't needed for me to love you"
C0N71NG3NCY 6
Sucks to be you!
Bloodjoker 11
faggela? lol
ellytoad 13
He must have thought the lingerie was for him.
banananread112 5
Damn.
MISSJMAGIC 6
Wow. That's terrible.
Lycanian 3
Well, I don't think Lingeries are sexy either... But I don't see why he would turn you down.
Whammer 1
He's not ready to have sex yet? If that's the case, he may have thought you were a bit pushy.
Sharkitaxrscary 12
Hopefully he came with a receipt. What an idiot.
Zacham 5
he's gay.