Why not both?
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend and mine's six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same, so I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What did he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
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Top comments
therob10 1
I'd rather have the head..
hailphire130 0
You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.
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Comments (224)
therob10 1
I'd rather have the head..
Lanceeden 12
What assholes...Both 1 and OPs boyfriend. Seriously, it's guys like these that make girls think we're sex craving jackasses. When only some of us are! I would love my girlfriend to bits for buying me a nice watch.
fthislyfe 22
You should have said: Ok, but it's not true about me. I'd rather receive an expensive gift for my birthday and oral sex won't be accepted.
MaximilianMarche 0
6. It's guys like u that make us look like sensitive romantics. Id love my gf for gifting me a nice watch and head for my bday. But mostly just head. I can buy a watch with the bday money from my family
hailphire130 0
6-Says the guy who appears to be wearing a skirt in his picture.
Randy84 10
17- I beg to differ, a cumshot into OP's mouth is extremely personal.
2wenty0ne21 0
None of u get to tell this guy how to be a man so shut the **** up
Randy84 10
In the gift giving sense, no it's not all that personal. However,(pause for dramatic effect) in the mouth full of **** and throat yogurt it is extremely personal. And gift doesn't have to be expensive to be appreciated and well thought out. I'm not saying OP's boyfriend isn't an unappreciative asshole because he is.
bldouglas 0
dude your wearing a dress in your pic. just cuz your a fag and couldn't get head doesn't mean us regular guys are assholes for enjoying it. this is no fml op apparently gives good head
TheRealHouse 7
what could be more personal than having her mouth on his junk?! maybe you mean sentimental or something. idk but ops bf may have just been being funny. me personally I would have been happy with either one, but both would be best. the key here though is to not actually SAY that unless it's like half kidding
Randy84 10
39-tounge on the brown eye is all I can come up with.
bldouglas 0
lol way to go fml ha ha chew me out email style for calling someone a cigarette or bundle of sticks
Yodaevil 4
Agreed, head is something I'd rather have too. But then I do know women are not like that. So I spend my time on a personal gift for her. Ladies just because you want a pair of shoes or a coach bag, does not mean we want fancy accessories.
ReynshineCutting 10
He's a total dick (no pun intended). A ******** is (usually) nothing special and it's not something that's going to make a memory or anything. Regardless of what he wanted, he should have kept that to himself instead of hurting his girl's feelings. And all you sex crazed guys, just you wait. One day whether in a long term relationship or marriage, the frequency you and your gal have sex will rapidly decline. Enjoy your hands and appreciate all the sex you used to have instead of taking it for granted!
waldoo37 8
I'd rather have both! Because head is awesome and two I can be super happy having an expensive watch and a ******** on my birthday!
Duladian 19
There is all types of guys out there. You should know your bf enough to tell what type he is so you can get him an appropriate gift. Some guys myself included would rather just spend time together over material gifts or even sex. Learn the personality and you'll never go wrong.
Yodaevil 4
59 a ******** is nothing special? Last time I checked, women just don't give them out for nothing and everyday. When I get a good ********, I feel like I'm king of the world and special. As far as sex declining after being married? Not in mine, it's the best it's ever been... anyone can give your man a watch, but not everyone can give him head!
Duladian 19
You're sex life only decreases in some relationships have some friends been married over 20 years and they are still going strong. Its annoying =P
stro88 6
Shit you should be happy that old dude isn't materialistic or High maintenance! What he asks is free and easy for you to give. Now if it was a rolex yes ma'am I'd take both. And 1 is a ****** stop having your hopeless romanticness try to affect real men kid. Grow some hair.
stro88 6
Sorry 1 I meant 6. This just mean you haven't gotten head yet and still work with your hands :-)
coNsperAZI 4
U ppl r f**king retarded op should be thankful that her bf is a nice enough guy to say that he doesn't need expensive gifts
karagarren 8
couldnt she give him both?
hawaiianfire 0
I don't understand why he's a dick. When my gf receives an expensive gift, she always says you didn't need to buy me this. You could of just gotten me flowers. Head/flowers accomplish the same thing (happiness), and they are both free. So all you sensitive pricks out there, just because you aren't getting any, doesn't mean you have to belittle your own gender just to get some.
therob10 1
6 why are you such a bitch?
ReynshineCutting 10
No a ******** is not something special in the sense that there's nothing loving or memorable about it. It could be special in the sense that some girls rarely give them but that's not the same special. Hence why I said usually. And yes sex does last in some marriages. The point I was trying to make is most guys take it for granted and it's more often than not about getting off. Most guys don't appreciate it, or their women as much as they should. And guy in the skirt, thanks for being a real man and not a testosterone fueled boy.
freelove_fml 2
104, if sex life in our relationship declines over the years, we simply start cheating. Problem solved!
ReynshineCutting 10
108 and that is why men get the reputations of being douche bags. There's no reason/excuse to cheat. Ever. If guys cheat they totally deserve having their nuts ripped off (and if girls cheat the deserve having their...boobs? ripped off). Cheating is never ok.
Loopulk 9
Yet only 1/25 guys are like him.
DoubleDose 0
so all of you thumbing down people insulting 6 are just as gay or to much of a pussy as him. romantic ******* like you 6, give all men a bad name. being romantic when it's required is one thing, but turning down head means either you have never had head or the hooker you paid top dollar for ended up giving you several STDs. Now I'm not saying receiving a watch is bad, but I can guarantee most men if given the choice would choose head.
jizzwold 21
I'd choose the watch and then just get head the next day.
11grace18 5
well saying flowers would've been good is implying your girlfriend doesnt need a gift from you because she appreciated YOU more while in OP's case, it's more like he isn't at all thankful for the gift and is really only interested in using her for sexual pleasure. if i was her I'd be offended too because I'm not interested in a **** buddy, I'm interested in a relationship
11grace18 5
thank you 6, I appreciate the fact there are guys like you out there because you're the kind of guy girls will spend forever looking for :)
BjgUsername 12
Uhm...... Maybe it's bc ur gay?
GrammaticalNazi 2
Quite honestly, watches are just an accessory at this point, they are almost useless due to cell phones, iPods, etc. The type of guy that would appreciate this gift would be one who already has a watch because of this. Now the fact that she didn't say that she 'replaced his watch,' but that she 'got him a nice one' says to me that he did NOT previously had a watch, and therefore would not appreciate it as much. Basically, you should've given him head. YDI.
radioedit 7
Agreed, I'd rather get head as well
egrodo 0
Do you always dress like in the pic or is that an inside joke or something.?
dacubs 1
I would to, but I'd still rather have the head. Heck, I'd even return the favor :P
Lanceeden 12
176- it was a joke.
ck11_fml 1
the fact that you said "love my gf to bits" makes me suspect that you're a pussy who cares if he wants head instead? next year, she can save some money. isn't it selfish to want to give him something just bc you think it's "sweet" or "omg cute".... give him something he actually wants instead. it'd be different if he decided to have sex with you for your bday, but this is his bday. give the man a break.
Chris20003 17
I'd rather have both.
SexyQueen0905 24
Oh how selfless of him. *sigh*
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well come on, I wouldn't wanna watch when I could have the real thing ;)
lecitizen_fml 1
A man of simple taste indeed
M0rt 0
it was selfless; he offered to save her a lot off money (good watches aren't cheap) for something she'll probably do/has done
Marcella1016 32
Give him head and return the watch.
hailphire130 0
You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.
Awahso 25
Hmm i can't tell if that is sweet because he wants to save you money, or jerkish.
LeoCor 19
I think it's a bit jerkish because she worked hard to buy him the watch that probably cost a lot. All he wanted was sex and not the watch... it gives you the idea of how he sees the relationship
marod02 0
Well your boyfriend is just trying to say it is the thought that counts :p
loveblowjobs 0
yeah ******** better, and it would of saved her hundreds.
NomOnShroomz 14
It might've saved her hundreds but it wouldn't have saved her from HERPES! NOTHING can save her from herpes! Nothing can save YOU from herpes!... Wow look at me go, this is intense. I should write a book that will then be adapted into a move. I'll name it "ATTACK OF THE SCABS"... Nevermind that's a horrible idea...
ThatGenericGuy 6
Yeah. Just right a book. You're ALMOST FAMOUS anyways ;p
adamzombie 2
She'd still have to pay...
badluckattack238 0
I give my bf head almost every day... Weve been together for a year and a half. What's so special about a bj thar it would suffice for a b day gift?
M0rt 0
Only guys with ***** for girlfriends get daily bjs. That makes em special
sugarninja23 2
I also have been with my bf for a year and a half and give a daily bj I agree
Enigmax2514 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well then, take the watch back, give him head, return the watch and then use the money for a chainsaw for his insensitive dick
loveblowjobs 0
jus return it and give him more head would be easier
Enigmax2514 7
What, and miss out on the fun? I think not.
ReynshineCutting 10
I like the way you think :)
Enigmax2514 7
Yeah thanks I am a rare breed with a different sense of humour, listen to Johnny rzeznik's I'm still here, they can break me, as long as I know who I am, so they can thumbs down all they want
sciencekidster1 8
*cough cough*
regsworld11 2
So OP returns the watch twice? That's what you said...
HeavyWeaponsGuy 21
I feel that you're insane
sciencekidster1 8
When he buys you expensive jewelry for your birthday, cry and say Why didnt you just **** me?!
Enigmax2514 7
H: D'oh! M: -frowns- hhhrrrrm H: do, I mean, if that is what you want... I guess I'll be taking this back now... M: - grabs the jewelry - H: D'oh!
Stonedmanalex 0
28- that was horrible get your head out of your ass
GrammaticalNazi 2
9 - because he will immediately snatch the jewelry out of her hands, return it, use the money to buy various sex toys, run home, and take her up on her offer.
Quest_ 13
I don't think it's acceptable to be so flippant/dismissive when someone has expended such effort, time, thoughtfulness etc on you.
Lanceeden 12
Exactly. :/ Dump him!
ElectricEffect 13
Here we go again. Straight to the "dump him" replies. Come on kiddies, grow up. Life is not so black and white. The OP's boyfriend was most likely making a joke, and for all we know they've been together a very long time and breaking up over something so trivial is immature.
xXxXxMasonxXxXx 7
Smack him
Lanceeden 12
I am wearing a skirt. Judging me on my appearance when you don't know me is low, man.
RavagedSouI 0
First impressions last forever they say. Secondly it's cuz you are whining like a child. Can't blame them for being judgmental. It is, simply human. Well if you were Scottish I might understand you wearing a skirt.
Enigmax2514 7
What has wearing a skirt got to do with this comment/post? Randomness?
Lanceeden 12
That's called a kilt and as a matter of fact I do have a lot of Scottish in me. However, this was not a kilt, but a skirt. It makes for a rad facebook prof pic. Plus, as it was mentioned up there, all these things make me seem like a sensitive romantic, which the chicks dig.
Lanceeden 12
Sorry 32, for some reason my comment got posted here. It was meant for a reply to #1s comment list
Enigmax2514 7
Oh my bad then, I think Scottish kilts are fine, dunno why so many people make fun of it. The bagpipes are amazing anyways
Lanceeden 12
Haha bagpipes are amazing dude. I love the sound of them.
goldenone 2
That's the first thing people judge you on. Why do you think we dress up for job interviews? Preparing to be judged. It's the real world. Dont wanna be judged a certain way? Don't act/dress like it then.
Lanceeden 12
Dude I'm not applying for an effing job. I'm on an Internet app and I don't give a damn what anyone here thinks of me. If you want to live your life as a miserable fuddy duddy kermudgen who doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fun', go right ahead.