Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
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Top comments
XxNINJA_28xX 8
He wants the extra small ones.
DocBastard 40
The sexy lingerie you should keep. The asshole boyfriend...not so much.
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Comments (118)
perdix 31
Lingerie is pointless on someone you've already seen naked. It's like re-wrapping a Christmas present. And maybe he is just in denial that he needs the "Snugger Fit*" condoms you bought him. *I just Googled that for this joke.
enormouselephant 15
No need to wrap me up, Perdix. I'll just stand with a bow.
perdix 31
#35, sexually aggressive AND thrifty . . . me like!
RedPillSucks 33
Sorry, I though that was "I'll just stand and take a blow"
KiddNYC1O 22
I'd rather see you clothed. Get the imagination brewing... Thennnn naked. =]
lilmisslivid 0
And you're still together? I dont understand the couples in some of these fmls .____.
aj94w 4
And I don't understand why you suggest that. If you date someone for a very long time hopefully one idiotic comment made doesn't flatline the relationship right then and there. If OP ended it with her boyfriend right there I would have to assume the relationship was pretty shallow. Try having a relationship and never say something you shouldn't have. You'd have to duct tape your lips shut.
McNerdyNerd 8
Normally I'd agree with you 43 :) but this may be what they were trying to get across and failed miserably...the bf was quite rude, and it may have taken a lot of courage for the OP to do something like that. Many people are shy and this would have taken her our of her comfor
McNerdyNerd 8
(damn app, sorry) .....out of her comfort zone. If he can't appreciate that from her, they have a relationship problem...or even on a more physical level, if they don't have a sex life that works out for both of them, they may have a problem..not always but many times yeah
ranko77 1
I completely agree with you 32 and I feel the same way when people make ignorant statements like the one 43 made but in answer to your question, I guess people stay in these relationships because of various reasons: upbringing, lack of self-respect, low self-esteem, etc. Of course, certain relationships do merit more attention but definitely not this one.
jsolis1982 6
I'll help you make good use of all that ;)
char08 0
hmm, this can be interpreted in different ways. perhaps op's boyfriend didn't think the lingerie was sexy and wanted to choose something himself. nevertheless, it wasn't a very nice thing to say.
hayden_rules911 1
Did you keep the receipt for you boyfriend? Maybe you need to take him back
GypsyRover 0
Put on the lingerie and pull a condom over your foot and kick his ass to the curb. Then tell him that they weren't for him anyway!
jerrywayne 5
Dump his twat hating ass and buy him a strap on
m_2_teh_c 6
I need that.
Austyn57 1
dam does he have a sex drive???
moemoney8888 7
Well he doesn't want them take them back .... Bitch. Lol