Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
To do what?
Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Cheapskate
Today, my boyfriend admitted to me that the reason he won't have sex with me is because "Condoms are too expensive." FML
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Always prepared
Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML
Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Top comments
kristina_woof 6
Because that makes it so much better... Your boyfriend is an idiot. Sorry OP!
IOmnomHard 10
Hey, don't judge...I mean, some people collect stamps... This is much more interesting.
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Comments (114)
kristina_woof 6
Because that makes it so much better... Your boyfriend is an idiot. Sorry OP!
ruabadfishtoo 0
I'd say he's more like creepy, not an idiot.
terrykayez 6
11- He's an idiot because he unknowingly confessed that he's been cheating on her.
zandalee 20
This is so damn creepy and disgusting that I honestly think you need to get rid of him. I think he needs a physiatrist.
outoftown 27
How thoughtful of him to keep just yours! Perhaps he just keeps a list of the others he has sex with (with ratings, of course).
SerendipityRose 26
I wouldn't say he's an idiot. Just has a gross habit. OP should have one-upped him. "Really? That's so sweet! I keep the funny colored boogies I dig out... It's okay, though. I only keep the ones I find on our dates."
Big_lama6 7
I wonder how much bigger the collection would be if he kept the ones he didn't use on you...
Inheritance 10
13 never once said he's cheating on his gf. Also he sounds like a creep ass.. No offense op.
mfischer 17
25 - Unfortunately I don't think that would be one upping him. Maybe saving used tampons and only keeping the ones she put in his mouth.
htb2050 11
yep
RedPillSucks 33
Not sure why terrykayez (13) is getting thumbed down. That's basically what's happening.
Inheritance 10
62 you do realize that within the FML it not once said he's cheating?
furball03 4
I once read something about this guy confessing that he jacks off and collects the sperm. He lets them dry in the sun so it becomes all powdery. He does that for awhile until he gets enough bags then goes to nightclubs and drops them all around them so people think its cocaine or something. What's worse is he had pictures of most of the process. I was scarred for life and will never pick-up anything from nightclubs. Let's hope your boyfriends not doing something similar.
terrykayez 6
Then you guys obviously aren't reading the fml right. It says he only keeps the ones he's using on "her", which implies he's using them with other people too, otherwise there would be no reason for him to clarify that.
sens3sfailing 25
It's a technicality. Even though it is easy to assume he is cheating, it is doing just that, ASSUMING, that is the problem. He could have chosen his words poorly and he meant something different. Idk. He could be cheating, but we don't know for a fact that he is a cheater and not just some one with the capacity to misspeak. It isn't fair to assume things like that, no matter how bad one thing they say seems, it could be a miss understanding.
Pepsiisbae 15
#13 He could've had sex with girls before op so who's to say he isnt talking about them
piinkgiirl 8
He was probably just referring to his ex girlfriends. I don't think he would be cheating on you but that is really disgusting. FYL op
xxmel 6
People collect very, very strange things..
gc327072 31
And I thought my bottle caps were strange.. But damn! That's disgusting!
penguinsniper822 4
I wonder if he keeps the date of when it happened on a little plack under each one.....
whosindahouse 9
She keeps her children, he keeps his.
IOmnomHard 10
Hey, don't judge...I mean, some people collect stamps... This is much more interesting.
SweetAsHell 9
However, stamps are colorful and smell fresh. Used condoms, well, I'm curious how he stores them but that sounds rancid.
yankfan89 27
OP should secretly get rid of all of them and blain it on someone breaking into and stealing them to gain access to his sperm to make thousands of his babies, which will be used to take over the world.
hockeychicl003 6
51- sperm dies so it would'nt work, just saying
yankfan89 27
71-yes I understand that. However since OP's boyfriend saves his condoms he may not.
mrsmirk 8
LOL right? I agree with this guy^ .. kinda creepy though. This is one of the funniest fml's ever. I have a friend who keeps a belly button lent collective in a baggy that hangs in his kitchen of all places. Anyone can contribute.
guitarbeast 22
Ohhhhh, it's only the ones he used with you, ok, that makes it completely alright then
chickenflem 8
Those of you who thumbed the previous comment down.....he was being sarcastic. It was funny.
kickass1stbase 7
Only keeps the ones he uses with YOU??? I think he might be cheating...
Bob88rob 1
Sounds he got himself in a Sticky situation!
flutter4 7
Yeah, a sticky cheating situation.
annihil8or 15
Nope.
mintcar 10
Everyone has their hobbies, but this is just ******* weird.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I totally called this on the booger wall FML. ESP!
katydid95 5
I'm getting the sense that OPs boyfriend is a hoarder...
FMLshark 12
Coming up on the next episode of "Hoarders: Buried Alive", is a man able to go about his life as piles of used condoms accumulate in his home?
RedPillSucks 33
Camera pans across the room to his kids, as he points out the broken condoms which caused each kids conception.
terrykayez 6
And that's when you let him know he's now single.