Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
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Top comments
XxNINJA_28xX 8
He wants the extra small ones.
DocBastard 40
The sexy lingerie you should keep. The asshole boyfriend...not so much.
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Comments (118)
perdix 31
We don't know what's happened in the past, but when a girl suddenly starts supplying condoms, she's saying, "I've recently boned someone sketchy, or I think you may have." Either (ee) way, it's not a good sign.
McNerdyNerd 8
I heard sometimes guys like when the girl takes initiative and offers things like that...shows they want it too? I heard it from guys but maybe they're just crazy.
perdix 31
On one of the early dates, yeah, that can be hot, but if you've been going at it bareback for a while, the sudden introduction of condoms can set off the alarm bells.
Lucifer22_fml 1
Where do you get the information that they don't usually use condoms? Also if that were true, maybe she has taken a break from using the pill and doesn't want to risk pregnancy, we don't know the circumstances...
McNerdyNerd 8
Ah yes....that would make things odd I guess haha
ruthlessmofo 0
You sound like a freak op. I like freaks.
ElishaisSexy2016 9
I would have said "why does it matter? I'm about to pleasure you." :)
XxskyelovexX 13
His loss not yours. You should have said "Your dick is too small for these condoms anyway" Haha
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe he was planning on keeping his virginity for a while? *scurries back to corner to watch "40 year old virgin" with "Forever alone" bumper sticker on back*
skulltorn 8
Find someone else to use it with!
youllnvrkno 8
what a dick!
ViviMage 40
Ya realize you can't return those for health reasons
RomanBeauty 0
I once had a boyfriend who suddenly began to turn down sex. After 3 months of my trying and his constant refusals, he dumped me. He's gay now. But I'm engaged! :D dump this guy, you deserve to feel appreciated honey.
RedPillSucks 33
You didn't say how old you were when that happens, but not everyone who refuses sex is gay.
klovely22 13
Does her age really matter?
leydia 10
What he's trying to tell you is he has a boyfriend.