Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
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Top comments
XxNINJA_28xX 8
He wants the extra small ones.
DocBastard 40
The sexy lingerie you should keep. The asshole boyfriend...not so much.
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Comments (118)
JPEllis 0
Just like why I buy furry hats; it makes me feel special. Take the condoms and lingerie to someone who understands self image is important.
MyHorseTango 7
sounds like he's gay
JessTheAwesome 10
Maybe he thought the lingerie was for him? In all seriousness though, what an ass.
balake_fml 8
Tell your boyfriend he never came with a receipt
carrs2154 9
Are you sure he's your boyfriend? Cause he doesn't sound very interested. ydi