Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. After a few hours, she wanted to give me a blowjob, so I thought we weren't mad at each other anymore. Turns out she was still mad because she bit my penis. FML
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend was about to give me a blowjob. When her lips met my penis, there was a huge static shock. I never got the blowjob, she is still laughing and I have ice on my penis. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That sucks. Only not literally.
D J's MOM 17
she didn't suddenly decide.... it was revenge well planned. remember that next time you have 'fun'. be sure she isn't still mad about something.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
That sucks. Only not literally.
D J's MOM 17
she didn't suddenly decide.... it was revenge well planned. remember that next time you have 'fun'. be sure she isn't still mad about something.
Lord_Hades 14
Wait a week and shove it in where the sun don’t shine!
kitten79TX 5
Why doesn't this post calm her your EX girlfriend?
Vesi 30
OK! So, red flag.. she not only holds resentment BUT she uses pleasure then turns it into pain in revenge. Dude, if I were you, I'd book it out of that situation, fast. That is assault and I believe battery and anyone that gets revenge for an argument is really bad news.
tiptoppc 21
They also usually and eventually end up on the news. Lorena Bobbit anyone?
SirEnigM0nk 22
Then wind up in turn being a **** star (i.e. Stan The Stump).