Today, I had to sit outside with nothing but a large bottle of wine to keep me company and no way to block out the sounds of my cousins loudly having sex with my two roommates upstairs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, I was in a bathroom stall peeing. Shortly after, I heard a couple enter the bathroom, both extremely drunk. They then had sex standing up against the stall I was in, blocking my only exit. I had to sit, wait, and listen as both parties finished. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML
Today, I decided to sit on the back porch for a while to enjoy the nice weather and relax. Unfortunately, one of my neighbors was outside too, having a very loud argument with his wife for about 45 minutes. FML
Today, I had to stand outside the changing room while two of my coworkers had noisy sex. I just needed my car keys. FML
Today, I was watching porn in the living room with the volume turned up, because I was under the impression that my family had already left for vacation. It turns out my cousin and his girlfriend were upstairs the entire time. FML
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
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Top comments
mt21mt 15
Relax, it will probably only last five minutes at the most.
Tripartita 45
If only wine bottles came with something that could be used to block tubes like those formed by ear canals… oh well.
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Comments (14)
Chazzster 32
Well maybe you could have had first go at the cousins?
chubbear 14
what the ****
Chazzster 32
It was meant as humor - Having first go at his own cousins....
CAT47LOVE 19
I would have left and took a walk...not just listen to it...or put some music on lol
mt21mt 15
Relax, it will probably only last five minutes at the most.
Tripartita 45
If only wine bottles came with something that could be used to block tubes like those formed by ear canals… oh well.
Lobby_Bee 18
Why would this be a problem? You got a crush on your roommates?
raven_of_azarath 35
Do you enjoy sitting around and listening to others have sex with you in the same apartment/house?
BurnyThroaty 5
at least there was wine
kevingirl 6
I'm pretty sure you could have found someplace to move to so you couldn't hear.
BadKitty13 28
So you could have left and came back when they were done.
davecross 11
Why didn't you just join them. This way at least you have some fun also
chubbear 14
Yeah because that that's not disgusting :/