Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML
Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
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Top comments
XxNINJA_28xX 8
He wants the extra small ones.
DocBastard 40
The sexy lingerie you should keep. The asshole boyfriend...not so much.
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Comments (118)
itaimumwiro 8
You probably brought the wrong condom size
JJJJJakkkkeee 6
Don't take it back. In fact, wear it every time you and him are home alone. Or maybe just until he appreciates it.
jacquesromualdez 12
He'll learn to appreciate OP. :) Give him time. Just throw the receipt away.
shawnaishere 14
Were they extra large or too small? Maybe he just wants to take a break from the 5 days in a roll
PrincessPenelope_fml 9
Ouch, that's just mean :(
nvolpitta 2
Ouch. Kick your bf to the curb!
enormouselephant 15
I would save it to wear with someone else, jeez.
dellam 3
Of course, because u make him wear a condom
wuciwug 16
no one likes condoms, but they do serve a purpose so when needs must - wear one or get aids / pregnant!!
DocBastard 40
MAKE him wear one?! Unless you're married (and sometimes even then), you should WANT to wear one. When you **** someone, you're ******* all their past ***** too. You do understand what condoms are for, right? Right??
challan 19
I'm guessing you're the guy that dished out the clymydia.
BubbleGrunge 18
Doc-I'm apt to agree that yes you should wear a condom unless you are exclusive with someone, but that doesn't in tale marriage. Not everyone wants to get married, nor does a piece of paper signal that you can now go condom-less. If you are truly exclusive with one individual, know that both of you are clean and are using other forms of birth control (unless you are trying to get pregnant) the I see no reason to have to use a condom with your significant other (boyfriend,girlfriend,fiancé, husband,wife). That said, protect yourself and use your brain!
DocBastard 40
BubbleGrunge - You basically reiterated what I said. Notice I said "sometimes". :)
BubbleGrunge 18
No, sorry for the confusion. I basically ment I don't agree with the "marriage" part of your comment, as in you don't HAVE to be married to be exclusive with someone and not wear a condom. I'm a little sensitive to the whole "marriage" thing anyway, perhaps you have a shrink friend I could see to rid me of my "marriage-phobia." :)
DocBastard 40
Ah, I see. You're absolutely correct. I see your point - I should have said "Unless you're exclusive" rather than "married".
dellam 3
Geeks,
sharksfan48 13
Somebody can't take a hint...
Rodders_SOTC 1
Send us your number. I will sort you out.
brettrb 18
Probably cause youre blowing his hard earned money.
DocBastard 40
Well aren't you a sexist twit? How do you know OP doesn't have a job making her own money? This is 2012 not 1957. Grow the hell up.
landcfan 6
You said it DocBastard. Also, since it said "boyfriend" and not "husband", that makes it even less likely she's using his money.
emilyjgraham 34
And to add to this, how do we know he has a job? He might be on the dole and she's the one with the job?