Today, me and my hubby wanted to spice things up in the bedroom. He’s always wanted to eat food off my body but never wanted to deal with the mess. He got a little too excited and ended up biting my nipple instead of the spaghetti. I didn’t know someone was capable of biting that hard on soft food. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She put a spongy thing on my teeth and told me to bite. Her finger was there, so I was confused and… I accidentally bit her finger. FML
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked a scab off of my back and ate it without a moment of hesitation. When I questioned him on it, he nonchalantly replied that he’s been doing it his whole life. FML
Today, I saw a cute guy walking out of a restaurant. When he saw me, he smiled and to be a bit flirty I bit my lip. Too bad it started to bleed like hell. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
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Top comments
bl3ur0z3 17
Spaghetti? Not the sexiest food, but ok.
Bree Jeffery 2
Why on earth are you usin spaghetti in the bedroom to start off with!?!?
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Comments (13)
bl3ur0z3 17
Spaghetti? Not the sexiest food, but ok.
jkjorn 18
Give the guy a break, he just mistook it for a meatball.
Ricky 3
I swear to you that this was the funniest shiz I ever read in my life.
chickensheep 15
Are you married to George Costanza?
zuckerburg 21
Jeffrey played those games with me too. He used the same excuse. Later, he was convicted for murder and eating people....
thisisbutaname 38
You don't realize how much strength is put into biting until you bite your tongue or inner cheek. Or, you know, someone bites your spaghetti nipple or something like that.
Bree Jeffery 2
Why on earth are you usin spaghetti in the bedroom to start off with!?!?
Sonotsuave 37
Ahahaaaa thank you that was such a well-needed laugh. I learned from college that Nutella or whipped cream is better
clair_brodie 35
Spaghetti?? Most people use foods like fruits or chocolate sauce or whipped cream....