Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
VoteForTaco 8
That stinks. (Here comes the thumbs down...have mercy)
savemycookie 0
Time someone bought some toothpaste and mouthwash...
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Comments (163)
misscami248 6
That's a hint to start brushing your teeth! ew
beebananaz88 0
Colgate?
hateevryone 15
If a girl says your breath stinks, you have a serious problem.
sheethapins 13
Dirty mouth? Choose Orbitz! Brilliant!
sjerkins 0
Um it's called brush your teeth AND tongue
traysanders 0
You shoulda said "oh that must be the girl I went down on..." Maybe not?
uprising_fml 0
no .
Conley78643 0
there is no damn way that you have bad breath and don't notice. If brushing does not help go to the dr and get some meds. Fix the problem. Nothing worse that someone kissing on you that has zombie breath. Yuck
White_Knightspc 0
Boner Down...
kaykay20 0
If you have halitosis that you can't get rid of no matter how much you brush fyl.
FortuneCookie3 1
here's your sign.