Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
VoteForTaco 8
That stinks. (Here comes the thumbs down...have mercy)
savemycookie 0
Time someone bought some toothpaste and mouthwash...
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Comments (163)
desireev 18
FYL only because you apparently were unaware of your oral hygiene being an issue with your girlfriend until today. If it were said that she had confronted you before about the issue, it would have definitely been a YDI!! Clean your mouth and you'll be back in the game! Don't forget to floss!! :D
MSheary1993 1
There's an app for that.
SmittyJA24 26
YDI. First, never ask a woman a question like that. Second, improve on your personal hygiene details.
Cigar 11
See the dentist. You might have a cavity or gum disease you aren't aware of for one reason or another. That DEFINITELY smells awful.. I have friend that can't afford to see the dentist and I have to hold my breathe when she whispers or laughs close. :/
kaykay20 0
They have discount plans no reason for her not to go and risk further infection.
fo_86 0
:( aw
deadxmau5 6
It's called a toothbrush and toothpaste pretty sure part of the reason it was made is so you can have fresh breath but hey your hygiene is on you.
unidentifieduser 23
Do you have halitosis? If so, I don't think you can do much about that...but then again i'm not a doctor so don't take any medical advice that I offer.
kaykay20 0
Halitosis can be from a digestive issue. A laxative to help get you regulated will help that. if your born with the issue they will just have to deal with it and have lots of gum on hand.
delilah09 6
It's time for a dental check up!!! Could be gum disease or a cavity. It can even be a sign of a serious infection OP! But it could also be something as easy as brushing and flossing! FUN FACT: not flossing cuts off 5 years of your life AND leads to heart disease. 1800dentist OP!!!
Bloothebawss 9
Brush your teeth?
wittygirl 8
Quick question. When was the pastime you went to the dentist and got your teeth cleaned...
delilah09 6
*last time. You're welcome : )
rubberduckie94 13
while op may be able to easily remedy his situation by brushing and flossing more often, not every one has dental insurance or the cash to cover cleanings.
delilah09 6
Care credit.