Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
VoteForTaco 8
That stinks. (Here comes the thumbs down...have mercy)
savemycookie 0
Time someone bought some toothpaste and mouthwash...
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Comments (163)
gamefreakpog 5
Comment Moderated.
perdix 31
Too many negative votes. Comment buried. Show comment.
flockz 20
wee-woo
iAmScrubs 19
Girls confuse me. At first they say that they like wild and exciting boys, then they don't even let us show them how wild we are.
mk58 31
The Scrubs is back!
desireev 18
What's "wild and exciting" about not brushing your teeth?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Wild = animal = animal breath.... Ah, forget it. *facepalm*
mk58 31
*sigh of relief* So I'm not the only one who had a facepalm moment there, 67.
05PP1 17
Ouch I feel sorry for you.
cheerluv15 0
I dont
flockz 20
i tried this new mouthwash the other day too. it was called moist carcas. ya my girlfriend didn't like it either.
Dixie19 0
You can brush your teeth and use mouthwash, but it won't make a difference. The big thing is to FLOSS. Come on people Floss makes a huge difference!
yourlifesfucked 0
Your girlfriend's a quick one. Cheer up OP! At least you have a girlfriend! Now just get some better oral hygiene and it'll stay that way...
lpf061472 5
i see the OP everywhere ,but i don't know what dose it mean.
blushy 14
a tic tac wouldn't kill you...just saying
Jimboom 12
Get some mouthwash. Or brush better.
bearsy 0
**** it you better start brushing your tounge thats were all the germs are not in your teeth stupid
SeldomHappy 3
Yes, fyl because she had to tell you that you have bad breath, I completely agree. Yes.