Today, I received the most comments and likes on a Facebook post for years. What exciting thing had happened in my life? Well, I bought a glow-in-the-dark plant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's been a few weeks since I took up gardening to relax, caring for my plants, and they finally started blooming. Excitedly, I posted a picture online, only to have a friend tell me that my "beautiful flowers" are actually weeds. Apparently, I have a talent for cultivating the unwanted. FML
Today, I posted a photo on Facebook showing a side-by-side view of me before and after I'd tried out my new makeup. My dad commented, "What is this, Gollum cosplaying an Orc?" My mum, brother, and over 20 "friends" liked his comment. FML
Today, I posted on Facebook that I got the Princess Peach Happy Meal toy and I was super ecstatic. A friend of mine commented, “This shit is why you’re 32 and still single as fuck. Get a boyfriend and go start a family.” Her comment got 38 likes. I threw my laptop across the room and burst into tears. FML
Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML
Today, I left my friend this big Facebook wall comment about how adorable his son is. Just after posting, I read the other peoples' comments and find out that it's his daughter. FML
Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML
Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
After reading this, I have to admit, I want to see pictures of a glow in the dark plant now. That seems way cooler than 99% of the bullshit my friends post on Facebook. It's not some political crap, or a picture of their food, or a random passive-aggressive post about how aggravating an unknown someone is. Honestly, the main things I follow on Facebook are a couple of groups that post bromeliad photos (tropical flowers), and some random funny animal videos.
flagbitch 8
Now I want a glow in the dark plant!
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Comments (5)
Bogrbon 27
After reading this, I have to admit, I want to see pictures of a glow in the dark plant now. That seems way cooler than 99% of the bullshit my friends post on Facebook. It's not some political crap, or a picture of their food, or a random passive-aggressive post about how aggravating an unknown someone is. Honestly, the main things I follow on Facebook are a couple of groups that post bromeliad photos (tropical flowers), and some random funny animal videos.
flagbitch 8
Now I want a glow in the dark plant!
Yummi_913 18
Alright but which plant is this? I may want a few.
Yudith 28
You have a glow-in-the-dark plant?
tounces7 28
The only FML here is the fact that the highlight of your life is getting the most likes on a FB post.
flagbitch 8
true