Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, an attractive coworker complimented my cologne in the elevator, so naturally I tried to respond smoothly. Instead of saying, “Thanks, it’s new” I somehow combined two thoughts and blurted out, “Thanks, I’m sweating.” We rode the remaining twelve floors in intense silence. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
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Top comments
llSgtScopell 0
Us guys can never catch a break huh?
Crabby 0
So I take it English isn't your first language? Why would anyone use the word "stench"? to "lovingly" describe someone?
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Comments (104)
llSgtScopell 0
Us guys can never catch a break huh?
DeepfriedT 1
No, we can't....
Whytetrash 21
Attempt to compliment her? Is that a rare occurrence for you?
Crabby 0
So I take it English isn't your first language? Why would anyone use the word "stench"? to "lovingly" describe someone?
omgpewpewlazersp 0
nice one mate!
xNephilim 19
Well, maybe he's not really one to describe his feelings or anything that's so much as related to feelings and got nervous?
CaroAurelia 12
I'm a native English speaker, and although I've never screwed up THAT badly, I've heard some pretty dumb stuff come out of my mouth when it sounded good in my head. Some people just can't words good.
jennaleighhh 0
aww thats kindof awkward =/ sorry about that, man!
Flying_Pink_Lulz 0
With all due respect, you're a douchebag :)
buttlove69 0
that sucks
mothafucka_fml 0
lmao maybe you should keep your mouth shut for a while :D
jet_fml 0
You're not very smart, are you?
HelloFlower 0
Hm. I'm assuming you over-thought this... or maybe you even used a thesaurus to form that compliment. Next time, try "You smell good." And I agree with #2. You don't seem like you have the English language mastered.
KPACOTKA 0
weird choice of the word
pmole42088 0
thats rough bro, i not exactly ricco sauvé but really? you should have rethought that one.