Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
VoteForTaco 8
That stinks. (Here comes the thumbs down...have mercy)
savemycookie 0
Time someone bought some toothpaste and mouthwash...
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Comments (163)
MzViKki 4
She's bold for doing that, Something your exes never did. Lol and I cant believe she is still with you if your breath stinks haha
SammiJS121 0
That's just mean , but hey , at least she's truthful . (;
icxiibunnie 14
Well it wasn't exactly the best way to tell you but, at least she was being truthful. This is a sign telling you, that you got to start brushing your teeth, flossing, mouthwash, breathmints, gum or something to freshen up your mouth. If you ever want to kiss her again without being ashamed I suggest you start now.
taytay6510 6
Well, now that you've cleared the air... go brush your teeth.
sassypenguinxox 15
Take advice from the dentine commercial "practice safe breath"
bigdaddy93 8
it's called a toothbrush learn how to use it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bn326160 13
Reminds me to go brush my teeth :p
GypsyRover 0
Lol,I guess you're breath is so nasty that people look forward to you're farts!
ZielZone 4
ROFL... Dumbass... Invest in a toothbrush!!!
Simsation 0
Breath mint