Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained that I don't kiss her often enough. The problem is her breath. It's disgusting. I gently answered, "Well, you don't kiss me often either." Now she keeps kissing me. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, I had my first kiss with this guy that I really liked. We started making out and he stopped and had this bizarre look on his face. I thought he was liking it, so I said, "You're a good kisser, you wanna go to the bedroom?" He replied with, "I'll pass, you have really bad breath". FML
Today, I realize that my boyfriend's breath quite literally smells like a sewer. It wouldn't be so bad, except that he tries to kiss me about every ten minutes, and I have to hold my breath. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
VoteForTaco 8
That stinks. (Here comes the thumbs down...have mercy)
savemycookie 0
Time someone bought some toothpaste and mouthwash...
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Comments (163)
Squeaky_Tomato 14
We have amazing inventions called a toothbrush and toothpaste. You can google how to use them. Also buy some mouthwash. Brush your teeth and use mouthwash 3 times a day. Your breath won't smell and your mouth will be healthier.
causticgirl 6
Ouch. Tic tac? Fresh breath always gets you more.
texas_redneck88 10
YDI, brush your teeth more often, use mouth wash, and pop the occasional mint here and there
hackaypreeseh 2
Hint hint
mojo5678 5
Whata bitch
nikkij1988 0
Lmmfao!!!!!!!!!!!
thecovert 7
Brush your teeth. Mouthwash. Mint??
uprising_fml 0
that's so unnecessary and immature . OP is a big boy, I think he can handle the tip from his girlfriend and simply chew a piece of gum . don't be a dick about it .
ruusk 6
I imagine it to smell like Chernobyl or foot and mouth disease.
KiddNYC1O 22
Owned.