Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
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Top comments
ALittleBitCrazy 0
Nice puppy you have
Conkers 0
Maybe she's telling you that you should use your room as a toilet so you don't have to be away from her? Just a thought.
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Comments (102)
poopybear 0
That's the price you pay for getting a new puppy. I know.
Nightfallz 0
it takes longer then 60 seconds for a dog to poop. even a puppy. fake. nice try tho
aback 5
She thought you'd never leave.
serpicosghost 0
put the dog in a crate dumbass
sdr_fml 0
Put it in a crate... dogs don't like to shit and piss where they sleep.
Rydizzle 0
wow. FYL for sure
fxd11 0
YDI for washing your hands.
Gadget3440 0
Surely not an FML unless you'd have prefered getting poo and peed on by your dog... You should be thankful you weren't in the bed at the time
AssOf2009 0
You should crate your dog at night to get him trained correctly. YDI
DiscountKing 0
You said potty-paw-prints. lol