Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, as my husband and I were leaving our wedding reception, my mother-in-law hugged me and whispered in my ear, "You're gonna do great tonight!" FML
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
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Top comments
elmyra_duff 0
don't be an idiot. what he meant is he didn't think you'd grow up. that's what parents think. you're always their little daughter.
cucumberfabulous 7
Hahahahaha I wouldn't take that to seriously....I'd laugh too! =)
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Comments (92)
ALittleBitCrazy 0
At least he didn't lie.
genius_man16 1
What the **** is this shit? Isn't that how ALL parents start their wedding speeches? I've been to like 9, and they have all started something like that. Jesus, even superman couldn't unbunch your panties.
ALittleBitCrazy 0
Oh, just cry in a corner?
metheonlyb 17
Genius Man wins!!!
DameGreyWulf 1
Aw, genius beat me. Seriously, many parents think about their children getting wed, but when it actually comes around it's always a big (and happy) shocker. You know, that's why they cry and all.... Also what five said.
KumoFF7 3
YDI for being ugly.
persiancutie 0
LMAO thats hilarious! FYL
flyerdu 0
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DomK 0
WTF?
monicamischief 0
i agree with chances. this isn't a FML AT ******* ALL. he's surprised that his little daughter is all grown up, is all.
ilg4evr 0
lol...well although I agree that maybe people shouldn't post FMLs if they're just gonna bitch...I'm gonna say "people" not "women." Although women are whiny (I am a woman)...
Jess_Love 0
yeah... i agree genius... every time i've gone to one they did that... ydi for not knowing that's what normally happens at receptions...
ygdrassil 17
Maybe he just means he was anticipating it greatly.
lindseyxox 0
id be soooo madddddd
sulitak 27
maybe the planning was stressful? That's why everyone (myself included) laughed when a similar joke was made at my wedding... YAY WE'RE FINALLY DONE PLANNING!!!!
cucumberfabulous 7
Hahahahaha I wouldn't take that to seriously....I'd laugh too! =)
blackdog218 0
Lol, I love these dad FMLs.
elmyra_duff 0
don't be an idiot. what he meant is he didn't think you'd grow up. that's what parents think. you're always their little daughter.
Cormophyte 0
Or maybe she delayed the wedding for so long that it bordered on absurdity. Probably her fault.
spiffles 0
I'm pretty sure the OP is just being hypersensitive...
Tubasaurus 0
Somebody call the WHHHAAAAmbulance!
C4R0L1N3 0
WIN
greeneagle 0
best comment!
Nonamerequired 0
This made my day, thank you! =D
Kiwi_Splash 0
Blame it on the alcohol.
binaryalice 0
bahahah
akeena13 0
lmfao
definatelywierd 0
i just don't see the big deal, man am i thick.
Paradox621 0
YDI for having a father
theweirdshipper 0
EVERYONE HAS A FATHER . . . Dumber the the Oversensitive Pussy who wrote the FML . . .
ivoteno 0
YDI for not getting the joke, #52.
argentinachica 0
well, technically not adam :) biologically speaking...
camis 0
everyone who actually EXISTED, they mean.
PhishloverA 14
You're wrong #52. Learn how to tell a joke on the internet. You should know that someone's joking when they say something like that