JoanT
Hangry
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Canada
Help!
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
barbecued goat anyone?
United States
Link please!
Today, I borrowed a goat from a coworker to clear out an overgrown section of our yard. It worked great, except for the part where the goat butted me on my ass. Of course my wife was filming and laughing, and later put it on Instagram. FML
Anon
United States
That's a thing
Today, my friend thought it'd be a great idea to drag me a new fitness trend - goat yoga. Mid-session, the goat had a nibble on my hair, and I ended up having to do a downward dog while trying to dodge a very friendly but mischievous farm animal. FML
Nomoreballs
Winnipeg, Canada
Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML
aaa
Today, I learned that it's cute when a goat comes up to you and licks your face. That is, until you realize that goat was just eating poison ivy. FML
coop42
Hortonville, United States
Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Crystal Lake, United States
Tasty treat
Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
Anonymous
Don't feed the animals
Today, I took my kids to the petting zoo and my toddler decided to feed the goats her entire bag of popcorn. The goats swarmed her and stole her shoes. FML
shando
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Pet this!
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
MomOfTheYear
San Diego, United States
Beware!
Today, I took my toddler to a petting zoo and warned her not to stick her fingers in the goat pen. Two minutes later, I stuck my finger in to pet one, and it bit me. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “See? I told you.” FML
Top comments
RichardPencil 32
I guess one's the GOAT and the other's the goat.
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you have two hands, I'd like to know what your excuse is for not petting both simultaneously. I have two hands, and they afford me the ability to pet my cat whilst flipping off my coworkers over Zoom. Yes, they all deserve what they get. Especially my cat.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
I guess one's the GOAT and the other's the goat.
BurnInDemonFire 39
If you have two hands, I'd like to know what your excuse is for not petting both simultaneously. I have two hands, and they afford me the ability to pet my cat whilst flipping off my coworkers over Zoom. Yes, they all deserve what they get. Especially my cat.