Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left the sliding glass door to our townhouse open because it was such a beautiful day. Our new puppy, whom we have been potty training, peed in the yard and I praised him relentlessly. He then walked inside the house, pooped on the carpet, and ran back outside. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, my 4-month-old puppy made a break for it as soon as I opened the front door. I had to run after her barefoot, in just my dressing gown. It was raining. I fell over, forgot to break my fall and skidded along the unsurfaced road. She came back on her own while I was was laid on the floor. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
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Top comments
ALittleBitCrazy 0
Nice puppy you have
Conkers 0
Maybe she's telling you that you should use your room as a toilet so you don't have to be away from her? Just a thought.
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Comments (102)
jittle8 0
first!
Zwische 13
hate @ you! Anyway: Sorry to hear that, but you shouldnt let a puppy sleep in your room because they still need to learn loads of stuff
KumoFF7 3
YDI for having a dog.
ortega_fml 0
YDI for having to go pee.
mystomachurts 3
Crate. Training. How do you get a puppy without reading up on proper training first?
yamba_fml 0
YDI for washing your hands
Canuck 0
#3 is mostly right.. you shouldn't let the dog sleep with you period it will only start thinking it is equal and while equality sounds great.. when it comes to dogs it brings nothing but problems.. keep it up and you will have a problem case that will drive you nuts for years to come.. oh and if you are single(which it sounded like you are) you are even more ****** if you ever bring a man home.. I hope he can take being attacked and barked at constantly
Bunnystomper 1
YDI for having a bladder.
Bunnystomper 1
I agree with #65
gomego87 0
YDI for having a bathroom in your house.
taleeeeeen 0
wow
ALittleBitCrazy 0
Nice puppy you have
melnoi 0
I wonder if this is a Doberman puppy! They are also called Velcro Dogs because they are so loving and attached to their owners! But yes, crate training is the way to go. Plus when they get big they will become giant bedhogs!!
Conkers 0
Maybe she's telling you that you should use your room as a toilet so you don't have to be away from her? Just a thought.
cuteguyoO 0
good doggy
Xdanicat 0
Aww! That sucks, but congrats on your new puppy. It must be friggin cute. Just needs to be trained. (:
addictinsane 0
Just bring her with you next time:)
jardinteylor 0
Uh, no. YDI for letting your dog get so attatched. That's the kind of thing you're supposed to avoid, because of separation anxiety.
helloheart0777 0
I freaking love the shirt ur wearing in ur prof. pic. XD
GilPanda 0
Try crate training her, genius.
kawa_fml 0
NEW puppy, hasn't had time to train her yet, genius. OP: new puppies are a pain, I'd buy one of those books or join a class asap, or else this won't be the only time you have little potty-puppy paw prints all over the place. Trust me, I know.
PaigeCPony 0
Before you go around acting like other people are stupid, maybe you should do some research. He suggested *crate training*. It's what you do with NEW puppies. It means they sleep in a crate and you wake up throughout the night to take them either outside or to a puppy pad and stand over them and wait while they do their business. The fact that you were condescending enough to sarcastically call someone else a genius really irked me, considering your criticism didn't make an ounce of sense. Genius.
birds_fml 7
It's not so much about crate training, it's about not feeding your dog/puppy's neediness. If you put your dog in a crate at night, and not allow it in your room with you, it'll get used to being left alone and realize that you always come back, and become a well adjusted dog. If you respond to your dog whining to be with you every time, it'll just get worse and worse and this is the result. When I first got my cat as a kitten, he cried his little kitten mews outside my bedroom door for an hour, and it broke my heart, but I knew that if I let him in he would learn that crying to be with me would get him what he wanted, and then be even MORE anxious later on. It only lasted a couple nights, before he got over it.
DameGreyWulf 1
Awww... she got a'scared lol
Paradox621 0
YDI for saying potty
Starchild21 3
awww puppys are awesome :) i have one and hes such a great pup :) lol potty paw prints....never heard that term before