Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML
Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML
Today, I decided to listen to some music at work, so I plugged in my headphones and turned on Spotify. Only the music decided to play out loud instead. I was called a “disrespectful little bitch who wasn’t raised right” for not using my headphones. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus the man sitting slightly above and behind me leaned over my seat. All I heard was someone deeply inhaling in to my hair. I turned around and slapped him. Everyone saw what he did, but no one defended me while I was being thrown off the bus for assault. FML
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
Today, I was listening to music with headphones in my usually quiet class. At one point I really got into the song so I just quietly sang along because why not. Turns out by the end of the song I was singing at full volume, almost yelling, and my friend stopped me to say that. The entire back row was laughing. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, I was on the bus and a woman got on with her 3 young children. I offered her my seat so they could all sit together. When I went to get off the bus, I realized I'd left my bag underneath my old seat. When I tried to get it back the woman hit me and yelled at me for trying to steal her purse. FML
Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML
Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ExManiac 1
Women want equality right? Give her a surprise and smack her right back!
SKilshaw 0
It's just annoying when people listen to their music that loud.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
ExManiac 1
Women want equality right? Give her a surprise and smack her right back!
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
1) From your photo I can infer that you're awfully smooth with the ladies, so if we assume that OP is equally as smooth, your advice may be the best advice possible. Perhaps Miss Feisty Hands would mistake OP's "equality" punch for a love tap, want to get frisky, eventually marry him, cheat on him, and forfeit half the house she owns to him in the divorce. In a way, you're almost his financial advisor... Side note: Clairvoyance at 6:30 a.m. just upped my coffee requirement for the day.
yahoowizard 16
He can always love tap her back
capper44 18
#16 O'Snap... To #1 :p
xoconnie 8
LOL you should have put it back on and broken into song and dance together! hahaha
JocelynKaulitz 28
There's always that one weird person on the bus…
Killer_fel 15
Sometimes it's you...
daemonsparta 16
#16 she had no right to hit him. hes listening to headphones he's not her personal radio. even if he was she still had no right to strike him. if the genders were reversed people would freak
Whocarez 10
Violence #1? Really? That sucks OP. ignore that B and switch seats.
ExManiac 1
The irony between your username and comment..
lidemocr 0
I agree that #2 is an idiot but please make an effort in learning what irony really means.
Danny0522 8
The comment is ironic. From the username "Whocarez" you would expect him to either a) not care about the situation or b) not care about the comment involving violence. This is further supported by the fact that he spelled cares wrong in his username. However since the comment does showcase him "caring" about the situation, which is the opposite of what was expected and may or may not have made you laugh, the comment is ironic.
happle 21
2- Ignore someone who punched you in the face? I wish I had known to do that in elementary school...
Sniperkid07 6
It's simple really, silently incapacitate her, then leave, simple right.
pexy_fml 16
Don't cry well ask him to go on the naughty step
ycrem0n 21
How rude, that's when you play the song "Hot Problems" (assuming you have that song)
Danny0522 8
You need to die for even thinking of that option.
ALpein 0
"Hot Problems" was never an option.
SKilshaw 0
It's just annoying when people listen to their music that loud.
Risotto_fml 11
This. People have no clue how to behave on public transport.
PurpleCabbage 1
I can't stand those idiots who feel the need to share their wonderful music with us, which is normally Nicolas Minaj or One Erection. I hate those types of people. They act like they have the voices of god on their wonderful iPod. Sheesh.
Ninjasaurus18 9
Their hearing issues are their own damn faults.
MerrikBarbarian 9
One Erection? I don't think I've heard that band before... Sounds interesting though... ;)
welove1d 1
Hey don't be mean to One Direction or Nicki Minaj. ESPECIALLY 1D...they are my life...and they are the voices of God
CeeCee_fml 16
Sometimes its not that the music is loud, but that the headphones are bad when it comes to leaking the sound. I had headphones that were on a low volume but people next to me still heard it.
FeroniaMoonscyth 2
What about the people who have it that loud to drown out the bellowing cellphone users, cackling/bawling babies, etc. that NEVER. *******. Shut. Up.
HeyMondayAddict 4
84 probably also listens to justin bieber.
welove1d 1
Actually, we don't like Justin Bieber much at all.
SkoomaKi 28
#106 - One Direction are worse than cancer and aids (yes they're that ******* bad!).
welove1d 1
#107-One Direction is the freaking best!!
SkoomaKi 28
You should have stood up, faced her and slapped her with your headphones saying "I challenge you to a duel!". Then engage in a gun duel, the winner gets to listen to their favorite song.
I_lost_the_game 25
Seems legit
bellaxmonkeyx_fml 8
OP should probably take a little nap and hope that he's got a +5 to whatever attribute governs his gunnery skills. If he doesn't, he should tell this feisty lady to hang on while he summons a few golden saints. Kill, rinse, repeat, and he should undoubtably win this duel. Unless, of course, she's actually Dagoth Ur reincarnated as a lady on the bus, in which case OP needs to get off the bus as soon as possible and go find Keening and Sunder. DON'T FORGET WRAITHGUARD! Good luck, OP.
derkster 6
No
PYLrulz 17
21 - Huh?!?
Demonfish 14
I think 21 might be making an elder scrolls reference, but I'm not sure....
laden_swallow09 35
Yeah, she is.
bozly 4
Seems legit
Sniperkid07 6
Anyone else get an erection from 21's speech?
Bladian 5
No, I felt like she is trying to say "Guiz look at me, look at me, I'm a nerd, LOLZ! Pay attention to me!"
azurewave 6
81- It's working.
l23VIVE 17
You play Eldar? You have horrible armor saves but good psychers, though Vanilla Space Marines are much better
l23VIVE 17
My bad, last comment is supposed to be @21
kkjkidonthate 4
Put on Friday by rebecca black
kings1fan 6
I would have punched myself If i had that song in my iPod or mp3 player
SkoomaKi 28
#9 - Have you heard "Hot Problems" by Double Take?
AwkwardPartyBear 24
Or Jeans by Jenna Rose. (correct me if i'm wrong I think that's the name of her song)
Demonfish 14
Possible solution: "never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down, Never gonna run around, And hurt you" Just a thought... -_-
SpottedZebra42 14
After turning on your horrid song of choice, OP, lower the volume on your headphones and politely place them on her. Then, blast the volume back up.
Michael_92 20
One thread containing all the worst songs in history...I don't think the internet can handle this
nado13579 12
It's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday...
perdix 31
#68 Perhaps a disgruntled postal worker who blames that fancy-ass e-mail for stealing his business would mention: "You Light Up My Life" "Billy Don't Be a Hero" and "My Sharona" to avenge his loss. Jus' sayin'...
Killer_fel 15
You want a ******* horrible song? Type "Jesus is my Friend" on Youtube. Or listen to some Justin Beiber.
Enslaved 38
Every set of earphones/ headphone are always loud enough for others to hear, regardless of volume, except when I wear those gummy ones. That was rude of that lady to do. A sweet tap and a request would make me reconsider, but a punch? Hell no, lady!
IndieCowboy 15
Some just have ****** up ideas in their head of deserving and such...
myopinioncounts 3
it was her "favorite song" ! id be upset too i wouldnt punch you tho. what song was it?? ooo oooo single ladies?
perdix 31
"women?" She was so fat she was plural? I'll bet they fix it, but this story originally said "women sitting next to me."
Marcella1016 32
Thanks, perdix (actually according to autocorrect your name is prefix lol) I was surprised I had to scroll down so low before someone pointed this out. Public Service Announcement: 1 adult female = woman 2 or more adult females = women There are no exceptions to this rule, period, except possibly in the scenario perdix pointed out.
perdix 31
Keep pounding the Eggos and you'll get there! Now there's a contest where our Ninja nun will obliterate Kobayashi, Joey Chestnut and Sonya Thomas.
Marcella1016 32
Hey Noor not a bad goal I've heard a 300-400 pound women can make tons of money from men with weird fetishes...look up "squashing"
BobbieH 19
Maybe OP is into Women's Lit; where a very common theme is the duality of woman? Thus a singular woman is actually 2 women(barring multiple personality disorders). Or maybe it was a typo!
Marcella1016 32
Nah no way it was a typo. I'm voting on Siamese twins or even the rare conjoined twin myslexia (10 points to whoever gets the reference)
LAMKWHIM 11
Must have been an awesome song to risk punching someone on public transport.