SierraDiaz2097
Vardaman, United States
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Netherlands
Tension
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
HWS
Canada
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Anonymous
Sweden
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Anonymous
Brevard, United States
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
SoSoRachel
Dunlap, United States
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
DogStew
Behave yourselves
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Bad timing, dude
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
Anonymous
San Marcos, United States
Today, I sneezed so hard that I re-dislocated my shoulder. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
"Shut up" is one of those phrases that people who respect each other shouldn't say. My wife and I haven't said that in over 15 years. We prefer "**** you, asshole."
Bubbelz 25
Next time sneeze silently, in his face.
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Comments (127)
Crazynopantsman 11
Tell him to remember that when he asks for something.
DocBastard 40
"Shut up" is one of those phrases that people who respect each other shouldn't say. My wife and I haven't said that in over 15 years. We prefer "**** you, asshole."
SMHsohard 22
Doc, you sound like someone I could definitely learn to like!
IIFenix 3
Oh Doc I think I get it....it's one of those relationships where sex involves her yelling "bite me" and you yelling back "screw you"
Enslaved 38
49, Have you been watching Jeff Dunham/Walter's foreplay jokes?:P
limitedition 25
I'd take his advice. And not talk to him for a week.. Maybe he'd like that but still....
MakeTodayADTR 20
His time of the month? :P
QQmore_fml 18
Don't take it to seriously, I say that to my girlfriend as a joke sometimes. If he was serious get rid of him or talk it out like normal people.
IAMVINCE 11
Your life is totally ****** now.
Futacy 30
Unless he was performing a critical heart surgery for the dying president of Mongolia, and you were a patient from another room who was pacing around violently coughing, contaminating the air around you, saying, "shut up," is a stupid respone to a sneeze. Or if he was playing X-Box. Either one.
Enslaved 38
"Mongolia Mother ******"! A cross between an Alabama Slammer and a Long Island Iced Tea! :P
xmaximusx 12
Really? Oh no!! I would leave him for that
happylawyer 16
Oh! He did not mean "shut up". He just could not decide between "God bless you" or "Guesundheit".
Vinnie500 14
Your fault for dating a LOSER