Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Today, my nose had been feeling weirdly uncomfortable all day. After I got home, I blew my nose really hard. I found that a bug had been resting inside my nose the entire time. FML
Today, while outside, a bug flew up my nose. After I told my family and friends about a faint vibrating in my upper nostril, they all convinced me I was paranoid. That was until that night when I blew my nose and there was the bug in my tissue. Its leg was still twitching. FML
Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
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Top comments
hellachillin 8
I know this old lady who snorted a fly, i dont know why she snorted a fly, perhaps she'll die
GrinchFu1 27
This post just laid eggs in my brain and I can feel em creepin me the hell out!!! So gross!!!
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Comments (84)
jem970 19
Oh my god that is so gross! I had one fly in my mouth once... soooooo nasty.
asnakelovinbabe 16
It will probably eventually make it's way down the throat and be swallowed. I hope OP was hungry. I did have a small fly go up my nose once and it was UNGODLY insanely uncomfortable! Luckily I sneezed him out. He died.
kevsandy303 12
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed the fly. Perhaps she'll die
rocketiquette 20
Did your bf tell you to shut up?
jem970 19
I remember that poem... still ******* creepy. And to asnwer the question yes he did. I slapped him. :-) thanks for asking. Just kidding!
skeptic54 8
Get some bug spray. you know what you gotta do
Codezlol 21
Ok OP. tickle your nose, or gently breath in ground pepper, make sure when you sneeze you breath through your mouth in and close it to get a full sneeze. Blast that mother right outta there!
GrinchFu1 27
This post just laid eggs in my brain and I can feel em creepin me the hell out!!! So gross!!!
AKGirlinSD 20
Don't go to Alaska during summer time and ride a mountain bike. You'll be bound to have mosquitos (which is jokingly called the state's bird due to their outrageously huge size) land in your eyes, nose, and mouth. I couldn't stand it and I definitely don't miss it.
NickaPLZ 26
Doctor. Now. Get sedated or something. I wouldn't be able to deal with that. Good luck.
dargue 2
they wouldn't sedate you over this they would just send you home and tell you to suck it up "literally"
beckilynn77_fml 8
I would be in the ER so fast before it could lay eggs... ewe!!!!
Tigerblossom 19
That is the worst feeling... Gives a new meaning to having a stuffed nose....
hellachillin 8
I know this old lady who snorted a fly, i dont know why she snorted a fly, perhaps she'll die
TourettesGuyFTW 26
The only solution now is to let a spider crawl up there and sort the fly out.
TheBrochure 22
#17 - Have you no consideration for the consequences of letting a spider up there?! It is only logical to send in a bird to clean up that mess once it's been made.
asnakelovinbabe 16
#23. Are you crazy? How are you gonna take care of the bird? Better send a cat up there!
Aydens_mommy91 4
Who had a nose big enough to fit a cat? O.o I'm now picturing someone with a nose twice the size of their head!
Axipiter 24
25, that'll never work. After the cat, you'd have to send a Chinese food restaurant up there to get rid of it!
tacojauns 45
#25 If you do that you'll have to send a dog to get the cat, to get the bird, to get the spider, to get the fly but I just don't know why see snorted that fly. perhaps she'll die
gc327072 31
Or, my favorite: There once was a Cajun who swallowed a gnat, why he do dat? (no offense meant, it's a real book)
cmayer 20
You won't offend any Cajuns BC we all had that book read to us in kindergarten.
cblock94 7
I'm sorry but the dog won't work either. You'll have to send a cow. The cow will do the job
jokinghazard 3
Were all those rhymes intentional Dr. Seuss?
RoboCunnilingus 23
Threads like this make life worth living.
TrueTriage 16
A gnat, spider, bird, cat, dog, cow, Chinese restaurant. This sounds like an excellent cartoon. Something Seth Macfarlane would make. Or just cartoon movie about these animals in a folk band and Chinese restaurant being their favorite place to eat.
klorehore 24
buy some strong nosespray and kill that nasty thing before you get more than just the one up there! I'd be paranoid as ****
Jonaahhhh 12
Where's the NetiPot?!
ohhitsher 5
Omg. That's so uncomfortable. Lol.
vadaaa 11
Maybe that's why it was posted on FML, detective.
SenselessPattern 12
It's elementary, my dear Watson?
CheeseHater 23
Snort it in and swallow it.
imagineit 15
You'll eventually sneeze...
asb818 14
If you can't get it out soon, get to the doctor. Even though it will die, it will rot and cause worse problems.
dargue 2
sorry complete and utter bullshit