Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Tension
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
Behave yourselves
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Bad timing, dude
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I re-dislocated my shoulder. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
"Shut up" is one of those phrases that people who respect each other shouldn't say. My wife and I haven't said that in over 15 years. We prefer "**** you, asshole."
Bubbelz 25
Next time sneeze silently, in his face.
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Comments (127)
Ponponpon_fml 5
Today, I sneezed. FML
iammeorami 25
What????
graphicstyle7 17
Not acceptable. Either make it clear you don't need that kind of rudeness and stay in the relationship, or decide you don't need that boyfriend in your life to be happy.
IIFenix 3
"some people's children" it's a quote basically saying that he was not raised properly....
Jac_d_ipper 10
Shut the **** up........ hang on! Shut the **** up please....
Jemm_fml 29
Damn, this comment section is almost in as much of a mess as your relationship, OP.
Enslaved 38
**** that! Sneezing is 1/3 of an ******! Bring me some black pepper. :P
MorganBrown 8
So, when he farts, tell him to shut up(:
LorenzosPecosa 8
I don't think this should be an FML.
Omniprism 15
I would ask him what his problem is and depending on the answer dump his ass.