Today, my wife was about to take a shower, when she called me into the bathroom. She stripped me off and pulled me in with her. As I started to get into it, she sighed, "Thank god. You really needed a shower." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, I showered with my wife for the first time in months, so I was excited. Once we got in, she was adjusting the temperature to something more comfortable. She then turned around and tell me to suck in my gut. After I did so, I slipped and ate shit, smacking my head on the wall. FML
Today, I was in the mood for morning sex, but my wife told me to go wank it off in the bathroom. Three minutes later I was mid-wank when she started banging on the door because I was taking too long, and she needed to pee. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I haven't had sex for a long time, so when she got out of the shower I was ready on our bed to finally do it. Her response? "Really? Now? I just got out of the shower." FML
Today, for the first time in weeks, my wife felt frisky, and we started fooling around. Half-way through undressing me, she bolted out, claiming she had the shits. About five minutes later, she tearfully called out from the bathroom, begging me to bring her a fresh roll of toilet paper. FML
Today, at the end of another long workday, my husband announced that he was going to take a shower. Attempting to rekindle some much needed romance in our lives, I seductively asked him, "Want me to join you?" He replied, "Sure. But first I have to poop." FML
Today, my boyfriend looked at me and suggestively told me to take a shower. He's leaving for two days so I humored him, thinking he wanted to do it in the shower. I waited for 20 minutes before he knocked on the door, telling me he needed to shower as well. He just wanted me to take a shower. FML
Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
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Top comments
moop256 10
Your wife is pretty ******* smart ;)
that1guy1 13
Take the hint and start showering daily, use soap. You're lucky she didn't just hose you down and stick you with a bar of soap ties to a stick.
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Comments (94)
that1guy1 13
Take the hint and start showering daily, use soap. You're lucky she didn't just hose you down and stick you with a bar of soap ties to a stick.
monkeysareyummy 0
Showering once a day won't kill you. And if you want to have more sex with your wife, I'd advise good personal hygiene. Does wonders in bed ;)
asnell98 8
Who doesn't shower at least once a day?....
JacobWithaY 5
Rule #34 no exceptions
downtime 13
Why is it everyone finds it unfathomable that a person can shower every day but still engage in activities that induce sweat and body odor? Is it because none of you have heard of physical activity? Surely you at least covered it in school even if you didn't continue it in your fat, lazy adult lives...
BarDownDaily 12
TBH you should never shower if it means you get to shower with your wife.
gojira666 7
Take it easy 38. It'll be OK....
xStaciexLynnx 15
I don't know about you 38, but I'm not a fat lazy ass. I sweat and then... I SHOWER. Imagine. You can both sweat AND shower once a day.
kirsty1551 3
I think this FML should be the other way round. Its not as bad for the husband as it is for the wife.
downtime 13
51, Surely then having lived a life with varying ranges of physical activity you'd realise its not always obvious to the individual that they do smell or have in fact even been sweating...
lilbuscus 1
Oops sorry meant to thumbs this down... Stupid iPod touch
Akai_fml 4
This is quite possibly the best way ever to be informed of the imminent need for a shower.
Michael87Jackson_fml 10
Maybe she thought you were a lil smelly. At least she was being honest.
123josie123 11
:/ for some reason I could picture you saying that but with MJ's tiny high pitched voice lol
lebronesque73091 12
You got to shower with your wife, quit complaining.
LaughinStock 16
Right 54, Op took out two birds with one stone :)
moop256 10
Your wife is pretty ******* smart ;)
Trisomy18 4
Agreed.
kelissa_fml 16
At least she made you smell better?maybe now she will have sex with you...
graham11 14
She wants you nice and clean for some special things she has planned later tonight ;)
moop256 10
Butt plug stuff?
graham11 14
29- damn what are you on? That's a ******* creepy imagination you have.
MerkathonPro 0
How can you live with being dirty? I hate it personally.
ICATiger 13
You smelly bro?
toxicpinkcandy 10
lmao ^_^
perdix 31
How did you get so far along without knowing how stinky you can be and still be doable? Usually this is straightened out a few months into dating?
moop256 10
Ignorance is bliss perdix
perdix 31
When you realize that you can go three days without bathing and your wife/girlfriend will still **** you, you can reduce the time you waste showering by 75%. That's some powerful knowledge!
moop256 10
Let's hope no one uses it for evil
flockz 20
if you smell that bad, then this is the wettest you're going to see her for awhile.
humorizer 14
You mean someone could be even wetter than being completely drenched in water? Tell me more.
graham11 14
48- ummm... Possibly.. *awkward silence*
QQMorePlox 18
Well said sir well said
Somepplschildren 0
(y)
100Sparkel 0
You gotta do what you gotta do