Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Both ends
Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML
Let it all out
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Say it, don't spray it
Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML
No laugh track required
Today, I sneezed so hard at work that I farted. In the silence in our open space office that followed, my boss looked over, smiled, and said, "Bless you?" The people in the office who weren't wearing headphones burst out laughing, then those people noticed the laughter, took their headphones off, and my boss then had to explain to them why they were laughing. FML
Bless you
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Menace to society
Today, I sneezed so hard during a meeting that my glasses flew off and hit my boss in the face. Now everyone keeps jokingly ducking every time I look their way. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Top comments
greeneyebeauty9 28
I just see it coming.. someone is bound to say, "that blows."
dinorider_fml 4
Everyone nose that pun already
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Comments (99)
greeneyebeauty9 28
I just see it coming.. someone is bound to say, "that blows."
dinorider_fml 4
Everyone nose that pun already
Welshite 40
Yeah, its snot funny anymore...
KrazieKleo 13
Year right it's not funny anymore.
Docbee 11
That's mucus it's already out.
ilovesarcasm 18
Huh? What did you say? I didn't quite hear you, #1
ozone9914 2
i shower naked
Welshite 40
#34: I think that's the standard procedure for showering. Try showering in a river next.
mpsteve137 15
That blows... Someone needed to say it for her
Inheritance 10
I ear you loud and clear #1
greenie213 23
1-I like your username
preps87 0
Stop the druma. Sorry, I'll leave now.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
A popped eardrum isn't something to sneeze at. I h(ear) it can be quite painful.
butthead321 0
That blows
imavelociraptor 6
Guys! Stop with the puns already! It's snot funny anymore. Everyone nose that these things give people headaches. I can feel the pounding in my ears!
JustJumped 22
That's one hell of a sneeze, hope you're ok :)
Conner93MB 5
Well I think they may or may not have had their ear blown out. So probably on the not-so-okay side. Sherlock skills +1.
Cainicide 5
A blown ear drum does not mean the OP isn't okay. Sherlock skills +1
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
You guys are dumbasses +2
X_Codes 11
I've done this before, after I had an ear infection resolve itself the hard way. I winced just reading this FML. On the bright side, OP, you could very well have a damn good reason to get some damn fine happy pills from a doctor, now.
instagrammer11 7
no they are drumasses
pedosmurf 7
Haha you blew yourself
ittsdann 6
Bieber tried guys. Still dumb as hell
pedosmurf 7
Well I couldn't agree more
matt98_fml 13
Jokes like these don't fly here on FML. Learned that the hard way a while back.
jetsown08 21
Kill yourself.
Ilikeburritos 4
Well, at least now you have a reason to get off of work.
blcksocks 19
What if OP loves his job?
RainbowDashie140 12
At the price of bleeding out his ear...
greeneyebeauty9 28
really sorry though, OP. isn't your fault. hope youre okay!
crzyballplayer25 4
wow your really pretty :p
OhhIrony 6
Was it really necessary to trample down on some one for genuinely emphasizing with OP and hoping for their well being? Please reassess your thoughts towards the comment in which I am replying to.
greeneyebeauty9 28
no thank you. i'm fine. realize i'm not the only one who said I hope they're okay. so you reassess your comment and move on with an another smart ass remark to something else. thank you.
Icejza_DaChilla 7
I did not know that was even possible... That sounds painful FYL OP.
maosquare 18
Many years ago, our teacher sneezed in class and his eyes sort of popped out. Not like pop out bouncy spring kind of pop out but just wasn't fully in the eye socket. He had to be sent to the hospital immediately. He's fine now though.
fylx100 19
You guys are going to make me afraid of sneezing.
ebonyirony 29
this is a thing??? Omg; I sneeze all the time.
laurenlovesjb 20
At least you didn't have to hold it in. I creaking hate that feeling, when you have to sneeze but you can't.
thefallenqueen 5
Yes, because that feeling is so much worse than blowing an ear drum. (/sarcasm)
laurenlovesjb 20
My comment was sarcasm. Sorry if I didn't make that clear:(
mario2012 18
You certainly have a knack of getting thumbed down 8.
gracehi 33
It often has little to nothing to do with her comment and everything to do with her username and profile pic.
gracehi 33
29, I bet you'd feel really shitty if I told you that she loves JB because she has cancer and JB visited her in the hospital once just to give her courage and brighten her day. Oh, btw, according to Lauren in a past comment, it's true. Just FYI.
neilykins 29
Every time she comments This happens, stop judging her on her name/picture. I have respect for her that she still comments, after some of the stuff people have said to her
mario2012 18
29, so not having filled in my profile makes me stupid? Great logic there. Also for the record I was jus making an observation.
gracehi 33
I agree, 39. I used to harass Hanson Brothers fans. I was in third grade at the time. People need to grow the **** up and get over the fact that Justin Beiber fans exist.
gracehi 33
I'm sorry, 41, but I have to point out that 29 was talking about 8 before someone meaner than I does.
gracehi 33
Nordrag, She's 14. That's what 14 year olds do. So what's your excuse for being so immature? No one cares how you feel, or that you categorize the dedication of an online profile as idolization. Now get lost.
mario2012 18
I misread it it 47. He's still a dick though.
sux4u121 10
You have a bieber picture as your profile, get out.
mario2012 18
67, you are a dick. Get out.
Posthuman 26
67, you're obviously new here. Show your hate via private message, the rest of us don't care for it. If they don't respond, then DON'T be a dick.
geko911 22
68 - 67 may or may not have a dick but I really doubt that he's a dick himself. Also if you didn't know yet that anyone pro-bieber gets dissed and shit on here on FML, you need to get on more, or gtfo. Also, I don't even read bieber ***** comments, not solely because of bieber but also because he's most likely as intelligent as him, which is to say not at all.
evilplatypus 39
I love how often, when someone gets thumbed down into oblivion, they come back and say that they meant it "sarcastically."
gracehi 33
Oh, God, not this shit again. The mods deleted the last thread of Lauren bashing. Yes, Lauren loves Justin Beiber. She's not exactly new here, and every time she comments some ass hole has to insult her because of her JB fandom. That shit's getting old. Do you know why Lauren loves Justin Beiber? Because he visited her in the hospital to brighten her day and give her courage when she was receiving treatment for her cancer. She explained that on another occasion when people were harassing her on here. Back in the day I used to harass Hanson Brothers fans. I was in third grade, though. What's your excuse? Grow the **** up, people.
waitwhatsgoingon 18
I love how your ear drums haven't blown out after listening to all that Just Bieber.
gmc_blossom 21
I'm still stuck on "creaking." It must be some weird Justin Bieber slang I'm unaware of.
mario2012 18
74, I love how you are a bitch to someone with their music preference. I don't like Justin either but if they like him that's fine I respect that. I don't judge people by what music they listen to.
Nbrandwine 7
83 - The Irony. It burns.
trellz17 19
That sounds kind of painful. FYL, hope there's no lasting damage.
Welshite 40
If you forget part of your speech, start babbling. You have the perfect excuse now so just tell them you can't hear yourself.
KiddNYC1O 22
Now you can project your voice more for a strong speech.