SierraDiaz2097
Vardaman, United States
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Netherlands
Tension
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
HWS
Canada
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
Anonymous
Sweden
Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML
Anonymous
Brevard, United States
Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML
anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML
SoSoRachel
Dunlap, United States
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML
DogStew
Behave yourselves
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Bad timing, dude
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
Anonymous
San Marcos, United States
Today, I sneezed so hard that I re-dislocated my shoulder. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
"Shut up" is one of those phrases that people who respect each other shouldn't say. My wife and I haven't said that in over 15 years. We prefer "**** you, asshole."
Bubbelz 25
Next time sneeze silently, in his face.
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Comments (127)
thapora 8
Your boyfriends a douche! You can't help it if you sneeze or hiccup. That's plain rude and mean to tell you to shut up. New boyfriend time
cappellaaa 23
ignore the ****** then. see how he likes it
ophel1a 7
ooh, so many good revenge plans... i recommend the logical extreme of utterly ignoring him/silent treatment, supplemented with a recording of the sound of your sneeze, looped on a PC to play over and over whenever he asks you a question or addresses you. OR, remove all the toilet paper from the bathrooms and stash it somewhere, and continue to ignore him when he shouts and asks you to bring him some. OR, every time he tries to shower, use the hot water in the kitchen. if you want more ideas, OP, just say the word. ;D
BellaFurfaro 12
Um well didn't you know, you're not supposed to sneeze anymore!
Makaze 12
Leave him
nix1993 41
Charming. Kick him in the nuts, then when he screams out in pain and/or cries, tell him to 'kindly quieten down'.
Amishanthony 6
K...
ThatAss 14
Ask him if he needs a tampon for his ****** !
potatosareawesom 7
god bless you
stephiijo 15
This is stupid. This shouldn't be on fml. It's no big deal. Tell him to eat a dick and move on.