Today, I said "bless you" to a nice man who sneezed on the subway. That nice man has now followed me home and stood outside my apartment complex for two hours, claiming to be my "soulmate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, I said, "Bless you" when someone sneezed on television. That's how lonely I am. FML
Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML
Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML
Today, after being hella single through this pandemic, I was gently stopped by an attractive man on my way to the bus stop. He looked deep into my eyes, and I took my headphones out so I could hear him better. Then, he started moving nervously, took a breath… and offered me meth, before tweaking away. FML
Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML
Today, at work, I was standing at the till helping an attractive man. I have a cold and could feel the snot bubbling up. He orders and we flirt for a bit. Just as I'm about to hand him his product, I sneeze quite loudly and forcefully all over his face. Guess I won't be getting that number. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you
loloalltheway 23
Overly attached stranger?
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Comments (112)
ruabadfishtoo 0
The subway is always full of characters...
Razi_tail 25
OP why would you walk straight home if somebody was following you for that long? You should have crossed the street a couple times, turned down different blocks, then if he was still following your every move go to the police station.
namyo 13
Why would you reply to first if you aren't replying to their comment?
trivel64 16
because he wanted his comment to be seen. it's been done on almost every FML.
Razi_tail 25
26, I also didn't see where the comment button was down below when I replied here. It took me forever just to figure out how to get my email confirmed on here to comment. Sorry if I did something wrong.
PuggieKid 22
Wow. Some people.
Osito2011 9
Strange is the nice way of putting it!
Darkmagic666 9
31, It's just most people get very angry about threadjacking
Razi_tail 25
39, Gotcha. I didn't realize that. I've seen so many times of people going either way off subject or not even relating to the topic I didn't realize it was that big of deal. I've only commented once before this thread and that was a reply to somebody's comment. ~Yes, there are many strange characters that rise the subways.
SammyS2012 21
Sometimes I wish I could just sit in the subway and see these characters; but alas, there are no subways in Miami. You know, as long as these characters don't stalk me or the like.
meganfoxissexy 0
The shit that you get for helping people... Smh
SMD_emilyy 1
"Bless you" really brings people together
green2go 14
You could try acting crazier then him but if it where me I would let him meet my friend ak-47
green2go 14
I would let him meet my friend AK-47
grrrrmetigers 0
drugs are too fun for some people..
loloalltheway 23
Overly attached stranger?
Inheritance 10
Overly attached 'nice' stranger.* I do agree though; perhaps inform someone of this creeper?
MDTeddy 13
@42 Never repeat a joke to try and add something. You just end up ruining it.
Inheritance 10
:)
Marrach 7
Perhaps the man who went to therapy for obsessing over all women who talk to him, a few FMLs down..
patrickalamo 48
Introduce him to a 45 or 357, promise to send his soul to hell.
ALlamaOnFire 20
357? "Ain't nobody got time for that"
oomph_fml 25
Better play it safe and call the police already. He obviously doesn't seem to be mentally stable considering he's spent his day stalking a polite stranger. FYL, OP.
ycrem0n 21
Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break, every step you take I'll be watching you
falloutboy97 16
Your picture makes your comment 10x better.
perdix 31
#4, it's funny that most other comments suggest calling The Police even though you and I both know they broke up in 1986. You could call Sting, but he changed his tune with "Set Them Free."
ShyAnn29 15
4, I sang that as I read it, I like that song
MormonPornstar 7
OP's little friend's got the song Die Trying, Art of Dying stuck in his head...
wholikesbacon 9
#20, exactly my thoughts.
KingDingALing 9
I thought I felt a connection between us, OP... I'M STILL WAITING OUTSIDE.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Dead XD
yenidewi 11
hahhahahahahhaha ...
ksks1234 33
Why are your posts always double? Does anyone else get double posts from her?
allie2590 31
I do as well, and they're always pointless comments.
KiddNYC1O 22
Her comments are so unbelievably dumb, they're posted twice so we can see clearly. Plus, she likes the yayo.
Chanti_fml 26
I guess now you've been 'blessed' with his presence :( Call the cops, let them deal with crazy
blunttobluntest 12
You did say he was a 'nice' man, but maybe it's just creepy now...
breathemein 10
Creepers on the subway....
jjbond01 4
Call the Police